MAN, THAT FELT GREAT!!!!!
So while I was in one of my pity moods and listening to Coldplay (Yes, I am indeed THAT gay), it finally motivated me to throw away all of my ex's things and everything that reminded me of him. It actually felt pretty good. It felt like everytime I threw an item away, a little part of him was leaving with it.
As I sit here thinking about the whole thing, I still wana breakdown, crawl up in a ball in bed and cry. But I'm not gonna let myself do that. I refuse to stay weak. The heart is the strongest muscle in the body. I'm better than that and I'm better than him. That's what I gotta keep telling myself. There's a million guys out there, and I ended up with that Asshole? What are the odds. But I've been through worse. If I can survive what I've already been through, I sure as Hell can survive this.
Rather than being bitter about this whole thing and wishing him the worst, I'll let karma handle that. Whether it be now or 5 years from now. He'll get his. And I'm not gonna waste my time, energy, tears, and hurt on someone who doesn't deserve it.
Life is a funny thing and everything happens for a reason. And right now, I'm ready to take on whatever life's willing to throw at me. I can't wait to leave for the Army and get out of this town and away from these people and start my new life. Although, I can honestly say that I'm grateful for everything that's happened in my life. For the good things and the worst things. Because without the bad, you can't see the good. And I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for the bad things. Life would be boring without all the imperfections. And I kinda like lifes challenges. You have to hit the bottom before you reach the top. And I've hit the bottom. Now it's time to get to the top.
Extasy
The wind whispers faintly in the leaves beneath my feet
while the Sun warms my face as it peeks shyly through
the few and far between patches of the shimmering skies above
This is my chance
This is where the Sun has caught the Moon
and the Stars drip away into the comforting greatness of the
endlessly endless star lit evening skies
There is kindness and love in the drops of rain which race to greet me
as the Earth below me thankfully fades away
I stretch my wings as the sky before me explodes into light
Me and the Sun are one
and I am not afraid to fly
I am not afraid to fly