I have forgotten the details of my grandmothers birthday. essentially the usual nephew wrestling. Today I went out with my mother and nephew to sam's club to buy a punching bag for a almost half price. I also got ten pounds of chicken wings and other things. My mother is a loon. She is having shoulder surgery in a couple weeks. Maybe she will get accustomed to the apathy and be sedate for a while. When I went to collect the nephew he was drawing a picture. I asked him what it was he said it was a life cycle. I asked him to explain and it was kylie's life cycle, her as a kitten, an adult, dying, a skeleton, then as a spirit. He showed me how he draws bones, sometimes as X's, sometimes as this curving design that almost looks like a symbol for something and then a fat bone that was less complex, more straight forward. I kept the picture. I need to spend more time with him and see what is going on inside him. I am quite sure that I have found two others like me, maybe a third. It isn't so easy to find things that people have been hiding from everyone else in the world their whole lives. It is easier to find them when they get to the point where they are tired of tolerating the world around them. tired of suffering for nothing because they have to push who they really are down so far they lost themselves. When they are so tired of feeling like they have sabotaged themselves so much to get by in this world, to be like and relate to everyone else and it is still not enough, they still can't keep up. Feeling like if they let themselves be what they really are it is far too much for the rest of the world so every moment of life is holding back. You can't really be when you are always chained down. There is a myth I am looking for. I remember reading it a long time ago. I am sure it was about zeus. I think the basics of it was something like he had a lover who had told her family that she was his lover. They did not believe her and she had him come to dinner to prove it. He was in disguise because a god could not reveal his full glory to mortals. Eventually she convinces him to show them his full glory to prove that he was a god and doing so killed her and her family
this is probably weird to you.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I've been watching archer and the more it goes on the more I find the women on that show attractive. It would be easy to wish the one who is the agent was a real woman. I like all three of them for various reasons. The episode I just watched especially as the one I was especially amused with previously was explaining how erotic it would be if she was being murdered. It makes me think back to the times when I was more into sick relationships. It was never that I was seeking damaged. Actually, I hate the emotional pain of others, especially when it is someone that I care about because their emotion wounds become my pain as well. It is hard when you know someone else's pain and you love them. Anyway, I just prefer people who are interesting. It takes a lot to interest me.
The Temple Grandin movie was on HBO yesterday. Everyone should see it. There are parts that they try to beautiful mind it up. That was annoying but for as long as I could watch it, it was good and informative about her life. After a while seeing all the idiotic behavior and prejudices she had to struggle against. i want a world where those who deserve praise filter to the top and those who do not, do not. There are those who like to argue all those nobility of the struggle things. Who one is, is. If what you experience in your life nourishes that then those things are good. If the things you experience in your life inhibit who you really are then those things are bad.
I am in too much pain to think coherently. I will come back later.
I wanna say I saw archer once not sure which episode it was