So It's 1:30 in the AM. I should be in bed. I can't stop thinking, I can't stop opening up my eyes and looking around wondering what's next?
I fell in love. I did, It was great, It lasted 2 days, and I knew it would be over on the second. It still kinda stings. I haven't ever wanted to have a "real" relationship more in my life. I met him three weeks ago. I'm such a good friend now, he brought a prospective date for me to meet. She's lovely, she's mormon, she's his fiance' now. Yeah, he moves fast. It's crazy. It makes my head spin. But it's all in the past, I had a great cry, I have a great friend now, I get to go to a wedding. I love them both. Two crazy kids found what was missing and it was each other. I can only imagine the kind of commitment it takes to be THAT in love. Oh well, C'est la vie.
I'm a mad man magnet again. I have a new admirer. It's sweet. He's 15 years older than me, and I think he likes me a little too much. It's ok. I kind of need someone who really wants me. It's weird, but it's ok. If nothing else I have gained a partner who will run out to the gorge with me.
My aunt is on vacation, I cleaned for 7 hours today. It's weird, it felt good. I think maybe I just really need to put my whole self into whatever I'm doing. I walked to seven eleven. That was fun. It's not far. It took like 5 minutes to walk. I can't beleive I don't do it more often. SLURPEE RUN!
I had a magnificent evening last night. It was great, I went to Josh and I told him exactly what I needed. He gave it with great pleasure, and I have the marks to prove it. He has never marked me that hard, I have never begged for more. I can't wear anything with a low back to work... or around my family. But the marks will fade, or I'll make new ones... does it really matter. I really don't think it does. I went further into "sub-space" than I ever have and I think I found something there. Maybe it's the endorphin rush, maybe I'm just out of it. But I didn't take any meds yesterday, and I feel better than I have in a year. Maybe there is some secret knowledge I have been missing all this time. Maybe I've just been making choices MY way.
Whatever. I'm happy today. I have two loving cats, a few admirers in my pocket, a great job, an awesome wardrobe, and a great rack. Life is good.
My headlamp is out on my bug, that is bad... apparently they have to lift the engine out to replace it! DAMMIT! Oh well, I will let them, I will pay them, I will have my bug back to normal.
Well. Tonight I leave you all with one thought for the day...
"`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe."
I fell in love. I did, It was great, It lasted 2 days, and I knew it would be over on the second. It still kinda stings. I haven't ever wanted to have a "real" relationship more in my life. I met him three weeks ago. I'm such a good friend now, he brought a prospective date for me to meet. She's lovely, she's mormon, she's his fiance' now. Yeah, he moves fast. It's crazy. It makes my head spin. But it's all in the past, I had a great cry, I have a great friend now, I get to go to a wedding. I love them both. Two crazy kids found what was missing and it was each other. I can only imagine the kind of commitment it takes to be THAT in love. Oh well, C'est la vie.
I'm a mad man magnet again. I have a new admirer. It's sweet. He's 15 years older than me, and I think he likes me a little too much. It's ok. I kind of need someone who really wants me. It's weird, but it's ok. If nothing else I have gained a partner who will run out to the gorge with me.
My aunt is on vacation, I cleaned for 7 hours today. It's weird, it felt good. I think maybe I just really need to put my whole self into whatever I'm doing. I walked to seven eleven. That was fun. It's not far. It took like 5 minutes to walk. I can't beleive I don't do it more often. SLURPEE RUN!
I had a magnificent evening last night. It was great, I went to Josh and I told him exactly what I needed. He gave it with great pleasure, and I have the marks to prove it. He has never marked me that hard, I have never begged for more. I can't wear anything with a low back to work... or around my family. But the marks will fade, or I'll make new ones... does it really matter. I really don't think it does. I went further into "sub-space" than I ever have and I think I found something there. Maybe it's the endorphin rush, maybe I'm just out of it. But I didn't take any meds yesterday, and I feel better than I have in a year. Maybe there is some secret knowledge I have been missing all this time. Maybe I've just been making choices MY way.
Whatever. I'm happy today. I have two loving cats, a few admirers in my pocket, a great job, an awesome wardrobe, and a great rack. Life is good.
My headlamp is out on my bug, that is bad... apparently they have to lift the engine out to replace it! DAMMIT! Oh well, I will let them, I will pay them, I will have my bug back to normal.
Well. Tonight I leave you all with one thought for the day...
"`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe."
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
the jaws that bite, the claws that catch
beware the jub jub bird, and shun
the frumious bandersnatch
I almost used frumious bandersnatch as my Avatar.
It was good seeing you Sat. We need to do anouther psw gettogether though.
SkeeBall...yeah. I promise to be more sociable this time.