downcaste

I went to see a friend over night on Friday. To sum it up, it just wasnt fun. If I was define friendships by how they acted then I would have very low standards for what I would call friendships. I guess everything went well until another friend showed up and then I started to become the butt of jokes and personal comments. This has happened before I think had a stronger reaction than ever. I think perhaps its a sign that I am changing. If that is the case its good. I just think when the two of them are together they act like spoiled little bitches. The one friend in particular move to a new area 2 years ago and has yet to form a social network and has had no success in creating a dating relationship. I dont think this is a coincidence based on his behavior with me.
If you ever saw Fight Club he is like the Edward Norton character. Ikea furniture, obsessed with material things, has to have a car to show off with, etc. I am becoming more of the Brad Pitt character. Honestly there are some people Id like to fight. I'm not saying I would. I'm not really obsessed with buying material shit so I can show it off. I sure as hell am not a walking PR statement. I want to people like me for who I am.

Now for the second weekend in a row I have decided to distance myself from some friends. These are old relationships and maybe I have relied on them too much, as a crutch in a sense. I have always been sort of shy about meeting people. But I have made up my mind that I would rather be alone than to spend much time with these people. There was a plan to go camping 4th of July with one of these friends but I decided yesterday that I am going by myself. Im a little worried that I will get bored but it would be therapeutic and I would definitely learn something about myself.
I have never been good at meeting new people but I guess its time to learn and for now I will get comfortable being alone. For the most part I have been and maybe I didnt realize it.