Well then you would have to wear a hell of a lot of white polyester and make the girls croon with those vocal skills while singing crappy covers....why not go with a 1927 number? Chicks LOVE it!

Well if you are sitting at a piano may I suggest a thin black tie?

As iam not a CHIC, i doubt iam lovin' it...

How about a grumbly tom waits track about love lost and beer soaked cigarettes?
I'll even clang some finger cymbals for you!