me (to bar staff): hurry up, i want bloody serving!
metalhead: now then! what are you having, i'll get this one
me: err, who the hell are you?
metalhead: i'm pete, you threw your guitar at me the other night at your gig! it missed my head by about an inch!
me: and you want to buy me a drink for that?
metalhead: yeah man! it was cool!
me: okay freak, i'll have a pint of stella and a very large jack daniels
metalhead: nice one!
me: freak...