Hmm today is the day....well was the day.
i didnt get a good nights sleep as i kept tossing and turning and not being able to see much (i have been for the last week).
Got up around seven ever cos i couldnt sleep anymore, i was meant to get up at 9:30 cos i went to see the ex today to talk about stuff.
meh.
I got my 100 suicide girls stickers from Neyrissa in the post
and i ordered Bankys book called Wall and Piece and that came today
anyway...so i got the train and met up with him, we went back to his and talked about stuff.
there was sooo much tention between us on the way back to his it was sooooooo bad.
god i cried loads
when i got there i didnt quite know what to say but id written it all down so that helped,I thought maybe we could work it out but he says no as the main reason he broke up with me was because he cant handle not being able to see me as much as he'd like to and its been getting to him alot over the last year.
He also said that the fact we argued over stupid things alot is also part of the reason, he says if we got to see eachother everyday or something or if we lived alot closer then he thinks the stupid arguements over msn wouldnt happen cos we wouldnt need to talk on there as we'd see eachother most of the time.
cos of the arguements he said we seemed to be drifting apart instead of getting closer which i guess is true.
He said hes sorry and seems to think ive done nothing wrong and its all his fault, which i dont get.
He said right now he doesnt see how it would work if we got back together unless i were living alot closer but that couldnt happen for a while yet.
he said he still loves me, cares about me alot and doesnt want to lose me all together .
he said he wants to be friends and hang out sometimes, which i think is good and is whats making me not feel that shitty today.
we had the longest hug ever and we both cried
we're practically eachothers firsts for everything. hmm so maybe there will always be something there i dunno.
we were pretty close and hes helped me through alot of things and ive helped him with stuff too and we both dont want to throw our friendship away if we dont have too.
i think the fact that were now mates is good. im glad i dont have to cut him totally out of my life. he means alot to me.
i actually do feel alot better than i thought i would. if he said he didnt want anything to do with me then id feel alot worse than this for sure.
maybe i can get through this......i know it will take time
i kinda still get abit upset now.....i cant help it. grrrr.
i know ill be fine....just dont know when.
im still having alot of trouble sleeping. i want sleeping pills but i know my doctor wont give me any. boooo!
xxx
i didnt get a good nights sleep as i kept tossing and turning and not being able to see much (i have been for the last week).
Got up around seven ever cos i couldnt sleep anymore, i was meant to get up at 9:30 cos i went to see the ex today to talk about stuff.
meh.
I got my 100 suicide girls stickers from Neyrissa in the post
and i ordered Bankys book called Wall and Piece and that came today anyway...so i got the train and met up with him, we went back to his and talked about stuff.
there was sooo much tention between us on the way back to his it was sooooooo bad.
god i cried loads
when i got there i didnt quite know what to say but id written it all down so that helped,I thought maybe we could work it out but he says no as the main reason he broke up with me was because he cant handle not being able to see me as much as he'd like to and its been getting to him alot over the last year.
He also said that the fact we argued over stupid things alot is also part of the reason, he says if we got to see eachother everyday or something or if we lived alot closer then he thinks the stupid arguements over msn wouldnt happen cos we wouldnt need to talk on there as we'd see eachother most of the time.
cos of the arguements he said we seemed to be drifting apart instead of getting closer which i guess is true.
He said hes sorry and seems to think ive done nothing wrong and its all his fault, which i dont get.
He said right now he doesnt see how it would work if we got back together unless i were living alot closer but that couldnt happen for a while yet.
he said he still loves me, cares about me alot and doesnt want to lose me all together .
he said he wants to be friends and hang out sometimes, which i think is good and is whats making me not feel that shitty today.
we had the longest hug ever and we both cried
we're practically eachothers firsts for everything. hmm so maybe there will always be something there i dunno.
we were pretty close and hes helped me through alot of things and ive helped him with stuff too and we both dont want to throw our friendship away if we dont have too.
i think the fact that were now mates is good. im glad i dont have to cut him totally out of my life. he means alot to me.
i actually do feel alot better than i thought i would. if he said he didnt want anything to do with me then id feel alot worse than this for sure.
maybe i can get through this......i know it will take time
i kinda still get abit upset now.....i cant help it. grrrr.
i know ill be fine....just dont know when.
im still having alot of trouble sleeping. i want sleeping pills but i know my doctor wont give me any. boooo!
xxx
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
good luck with everything.
xxx