I'm not dead! Honest!
Or maybe I am. Perhaps I'm writing to you from beyond the etheral void. Maybe this isn't even a website. It could be that your looking at a very technologically advanced ouija board. Bet you never thought of that, did ya? Oh, I'm full of odd, meaningless information like that. I'm cool that way.
But that doesn't change the fact that I'm not dead. And I haven't run away, either. I did run away once. I was very young. I had no money, but I was confident that I could beg food from the nice people in the park 3 blocks from my house. And I took my sleeping bag, too. I was prepared. I didn't make it far, though, before the police picked me up. It was a female cop, too. Up until that point in my life, I didn't know that women could be police officers.
Anyway, the woman police officer was very nice to me. She kept calling me "hun" and "cutie." I was crying my eyes out, begging her not to take me home. I told her that I would rather be dead or go to jail than to go home. She asked me why, and I told her.
My life changed a lot after that day. Good things finally started to happen to me, and I began the long process to healing. And I never forgot that female police officer. To this very day, we send each other birthday and Christmas cards.
So, you see, kids, not ALL cops are bad.
But I'm getting way off the subject. The subject is whether or not I'm dead. Well, I'm not. Truth be told, I'm in good health and good spirits, and currently in great company.
Yes, there is a beautiful naked woman sitting on my lap, and I'm having to reach around her and look around her side so I can type this. Not that I mind, you see. It's not every day that a beautiful naked woman sits on my lap. Unless I'm at a strip club. Then it's a fairly common occurance. But since I am not currently in a strip club, but rather my own house, a beautiful naked woman on the lap is a wonderful thing.
So, yeah. I'm not dead.
Or maybe I am. Perhaps I'm writing to you from beyond the etheral void. Maybe this isn't even a website. It could be that your looking at a very technologically advanced ouija board. Bet you never thought of that, did ya? Oh, I'm full of odd, meaningless information like that. I'm cool that way.
But that doesn't change the fact that I'm not dead. And I haven't run away, either. I did run away once. I was very young. I had no money, but I was confident that I could beg food from the nice people in the park 3 blocks from my house. And I took my sleeping bag, too. I was prepared. I didn't make it far, though, before the police picked me up. It was a female cop, too. Up until that point in my life, I didn't know that women could be police officers.
Anyway, the woman police officer was very nice to me. She kept calling me "hun" and "cutie." I was crying my eyes out, begging her not to take me home. I told her that I would rather be dead or go to jail than to go home. She asked me why, and I told her.
My life changed a lot after that day. Good things finally started to happen to me, and I began the long process to healing. And I never forgot that female police officer. To this very day, we send each other birthday and Christmas cards.
So, you see, kids, not ALL cops are bad.
But I'm getting way off the subject. The subject is whether or not I'm dead. Well, I'm not. Truth be told, I'm in good health and good spirits, and currently in great company.
Yes, there is a beautiful naked woman sitting on my lap, and I'm having to reach around her and look around her side so I can type this. Not that I mind, you see. It's not every day that a beautiful naked woman sits on my lap. Unless I'm at a strip club. Then it's a fairly common occurance. But since I am not currently in a strip club, but rather my own house, a beautiful naked woman on the lap is a wonderful thing.
So, yeah. I'm not dead.
VIEW 25 of 31 COMMENTS
oh.
my.
god.