decota

My dude and I have been together over a year now and its utterly puke worthy! I swear. We're that cute. Like how we can pee and fart in front of each other and most every day at least one conversation is under the topic of bowel movements.

Why is that? Why is bowel movements the point at which you know its unconditional True Love?

I must admit I really enjoy that I no longer have to feel supremely embarrassed when I wake myself up out of a drunken coma because I let a bomb drop in my deep slumber: relaxing just enough to let the immense amount of gas I'd been clinching between my cheeks all night slip out in a series of what my dude likes to call "clucks".

When I first begin to date a guy I go to great lengths to conceal the fact that I have a digestive system. I hold and clinch and conceal any puff of evidence I can. These efforts can sometimes result in great pains, considering early stages of dating involves lots of gas producing alcohol. I had no choice but to try to hold it in if I spent the night. Now add to that the fact that we usually ate chinese vegetables for dinner, him ordering extra broccoli, and my tendency to pass gas in my sleep, and the first six months of our relationship I was a bloated and groggy and full of gut wrenching methane.



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