Yesterday was a very long day. I started off the day with an interview (yeah, on Saturday) at 8 a.m. and it lasted about an hour and a half. I think it went well and the job is definitely a step up. All I can do is keep my fingers crossed and hope they'll call. I am definitely not going to get my hopes up.
Next on the "to do" list for Saturday was a funeral. Now, THIS is a story all its own. The service was not for anyone immediately close to me. I went to support my friend who lost her mother to cancer early last week. I had only met her mom a few times but every time I met the woman she was upbeat and positive. I remember the day she asked her daughter to shave her head because her hair was going to fall out anyway due to the chemo. I still have this image of her mother with shaving cream all over her head laughing about how she was going to mess with people because she was bald. The one thing she said she wanted to do was go to a grocery store wearing a hat and load the cart up with nothing but hair care products. As soon as the clerk rang the last item she wanted to take off the hat and say, "Damn, I'm really sorry. I have NO IDEA what I was thinking." This is just a tiny indication of the fact that this woman found light in the darkest places. And she understood that every cloud has a silver lining but she also understood that silver can tarnish and nothing is ever perfect. You take what life gives you and you MAKE it what you want it. You don't just wait for life to hand you what you want.
My friends were the only ones dressed in black... at a funeral. What? Anyhow... we looked like the freakin' mafia.
When it was time for people to speak their peace, another one of my friends stepped up to the microphone and fulfilled a promise that she had made to this awesome lady by singing "Amazing Grace." I had no idea that she could even sing. I almost whistled and clapped until I realized where I was. I don't think a funeral is the place to scream, "Fuckin' A! Angela ROCKS!" Her voice was angelic and strong. I wasn't emotional through the whole service but the sheer power of her voice had me shaking. Here is this stunningly beautiful woman at the podium singing with all her heart to a person whom she'd loved very much. Let's just say it was... intense. So imagine the cast of "The Sopranno's" sitting in the back row with our jaws hanging open and a little Joe Pesci voice (not mine) whispering, "That was fuckin' beautiful." I will make her sing again if it's the last thing I do in this life. She was so embarassed about singing that she actually had a bit of a panic attack after she stepped down from the microphone and bolted for the door. When everyone tried to get up and chase her down I stood up and blocked the aisle so they couldn't. Sometimes people just need their time to grieve.
After the funeral we all met up and drank ourselves silly all through the night. The whole day I was around my ex from high school. I graduated long enough ago to where that's not really an issue anymore. But I DID piss her off not long ago by saying something that I really shouldn't have about a sensitive subject. Thank you, Captain Morgan! Anyway... so at some point during the night she comes up to me and says, "We're either going to have to make a truce or kill eachother." I looked at her and said, "Let's go with the latter." I was kidding, of course. She understood that. So we get into the drama and she gets pissed. I didn't want to discuss it but she was really insistant on bringing it up. So I told her, "I understand you have a lot of anger towards me for what I said. If you really want to unleash some hostility then smack me across the face as hard as you can. I want to burry this, too." So she did. Good thing for me she's not a very strong girl hahaha. So, I figure we're square. Right? No. She gets even MORE pissed off. This makes no sense to me. I let this girl SLAP ME across the face. Maybe not the most effective olive branch but I did it to show that I was willing to go the distance to salvage the truce she spoke of. I gotta say... if she can't forgive me after that then she just WANTS to hate me and I'm honestly not worried enough about it to bother trying. I see her about once a month as it is. It's just not that important in my life.
So here I sit all nice and hungover after having one of the most interesting days of I've had in quite some time. Yesterday changed the way I think about some things. For better or for worse. I feel a little closer to being an adult now instead of just a grown boy. Adulthood? This sucks! I really thought I was gonna be pulled into it kicking and screaming. I don't wanna grow up! haha. I'll give a dollar to the first person to tell me I don't have to.
Well, this post is LONG ENOUGH now so I'm going to stop writing just so those of you still reading can go do something productive. Thanks for reading.
Be good to yourselves. Nothing lasts forever... even "forever."
Next on the "to do" list for Saturday was a funeral. Now, THIS is a story all its own. The service was not for anyone immediately close to me. I went to support my friend who lost her mother to cancer early last week. I had only met her mom a few times but every time I met the woman she was upbeat and positive. I remember the day she asked her daughter to shave her head because her hair was going to fall out anyway due to the chemo. I still have this image of her mother with shaving cream all over her head laughing about how she was going to mess with people because she was bald. The one thing she said she wanted to do was go to a grocery store wearing a hat and load the cart up with nothing but hair care products. As soon as the clerk rang the last item she wanted to take off the hat and say, "Damn, I'm really sorry. I have NO IDEA what I was thinking." This is just a tiny indication of the fact that this woman found light in the darkest places. And she understood that every cloud has a silver lining but she also understood that silver can tarnish and nothing is ever perfect. You take what life gives you and you MAKE it what you want it. You don't just wait for life to hand you what you want.
My friends were the only ones dressed in black... at a funeral. What? Anyhow... we looked like the freakin' mafia.
When it was time for people to speak their peace, another one of my friends stepped up to the microphone and fulfilled a promise that she had made to this awesome lady by singing "Amazing Grace." I had no idea that she could even sing. I almost whistled and clapped until I realized where I was. I don't think a funeral is the place to scream, "Fuckin' A! Angela ROCKS!" Her voice was angelic and strong. I wasn't emotional through the whole service but the sheer power of her voice had me shaking. Here is this stunningly beautiful woman at the podium singing with all her heart to a person whom she'd loved very much. Let's just say it was... intense. So imagine the cast of "The Sopranno's" sitting in the back row with our jaws hanging open and a little Joe Pesci voice (not mine) whispering, "That was fuckin' beautiful." I will make her sing again if it's the last thing I do in this life. She was so embarassed about singing that she actually had a bit of a panic attack after she stepped down from the microphone and bolted for the door. When everyone tried to get up and chase her down I stood up and blocked the aisle so they couldn't. Sometimes people just need their time to grieve.
After the funeral we all met up and drank ourselves silly all through the night. The whole day I was around my ex from high school. I graduated long enough ago to where that's not really an issue anymore. But I DID piss her off not long ago by saying something that I really shouldn't have about a sensitive subject. Thank you, Captain Morgan! Anyway... so at some point during the night she comes up to me and says, "We're either going to have to make a truce or kill eachother." I looked at her and said, "Let's go with the latter." I was kidding, of course. She understood that. So we get into the drama and she gets pissed. I didn't want to discuss it but she was really insistant on bringing it up. So I told her, "I understand you have a lot of anger towards me for what I said. If you really want to unleash some hostility then smack me across the face as hard as you can. I want to burry this, too." So she did. Good thing for me she's not a very strong girl hahaha. So, I figure we're square. Right? No. She gets even MORE pissed off. This makes no sense to me. I let this girl SLAP ME across the face. Maybe not the most effective olive branch but I did it to show that I was willing to go the distance to salvage the truce she spoke of. I gotta say... if she can't forgive me after that then she just WANTS to hate me and I'm honestly not worried enough about it to bother trying. I see her about once a month as it is. It's just not that important in my life.
So here I sit all nice and hungover after having one of the most interesting days of I've had in quite some time. Yesterday changed the way I think about some things. For better or for worse. I feel a little closer to being an adult now instead of just a grown boy. Adulthood? This sucks! I really thought I was gonna be pulled into it kicking and screaming. I don't wanna grow up! haha. I'll give a dollar to the first person to tell me I don't have to.
Well, this post is LONG ENOUGH now so I'm going to stop writing just so those of you still reading can go do something productive. Thanks for reading.
Be good to yourselves. Nothing lasts forever... even "forever."
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
your friends mom sounds like she was an amazing woman, i would hope if anything were to happen to me I would be able to take it with open acceptance like that.
ex girlfriends/boyfriends are hard enough to be around even if the break was clean... if you had a shitty break up and she's still pissy I wouldn't worry about it... I am one of those weird people who still talks to all but one of my ex girlfriends/boyfriends... and it is 98% positive productive conversation.
Im sure youll get the job, you probably dont need the wish of luck but Ill send some positive vibes your way.
ALL the aussie girls are cute, btw...