Well, I'm doing better folks. Saw a shrink for the first time in my life; said he'd never put someone as young as me on Paxil. He also acknowledged that that is what was probably killing my motivation. Gee, wish I could have been warned several months earlier before everything started falling apart. Ah, but what's passed is past.
Honestly, I don't know what's worse the horrifying intensity of my hours long anxiety attacks or the slow and subtle pain of realizing that your will to truly live has been paralyzed by the medicine that is supposed to treat those attacks.
Now, after this trying time, I find myself on the verge of making those decisions that are some of the most important, defining moments of our modern lives: finding a "real" job and a place to live. Where shall I go? What shall I do?
At some point in time I would like to try and finish my the part of my undergrad degree that was supposed to be in Anthropology. I sure as hell don't want to be stuck in business. And I think the threat of eventually becoming obsolete in a career like Information Services is probably pretty high.
I think Chicago may be beckoning. It's not too far from here. It's a big city with lots to do. I've been there a couple of times and liked it. And I now know a couple of old friends who are just in the process of moving there. Might be just what I need.
Honestly, I don't know what's worse the horrifying intensity of my hours long anxiety attacks or the slow and subtle pain of realizing that your will to truly live has been paralyzed by the medicine that is supposed to treat those attacks.
Now, after this trying time, I find myself on the verge of making those decisions that are some of the most important, defining moments of our modern lives: finding a "real" job and a place to live. Where shall I go? What shall I do?
At some point in time I would like to try and finish my the part of my undergrad degree that was supposed to be in Anthropology. I sure as hell don't want to be stuck in business. And I think the threat of eventually becoming obsolete in a career like Information Services is probably pretty high.
I think Chicago may be beckoning. It's not too far from here. It's a big city with lots to do. I've been there a couple of times and liked it. And I now know a couple of old friends who are just in the process of moving there. Might be just what I need.
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if i really sit down and think about it, i can come up with some other rock-and-roll cuteypies. start a thread!
i've never been on meds, but it seems half my friends have, and they usually quit after a few months or a year because they're worried about long-term effects or because they "kinda start missing being sad" (direct quote). i HAVE however gotten very seriously depressed and anxious after graduating and not having shit to do. the only advice i have is try and borrow money or burn through savings so you have a month or so when you relax and don't let it bother you that you haven't got shit going yet. it really helps.
ok, that's enough out of me.