Uhm...that's like...talking dirty over the phone isn't it?

i want you naked on your stomach...head pulled back by your hair...biting your neck, your shoulder, whispering filth in your ear...get you writhing and speaking in tongues....sheets soaked.

there...how was that?

I see you walking like a snake down the street to the corner where you stop. You duck into a liquor store and I foloow, watching. You look over your shoulder teasingly at me just before you purchase a ten pound bag of beef jerky. I think to myself, this is the girl right here right now. As you leave the store I quickly buy a bottle of Boones Strawberry Hill and two bottles of Robotusin DM, 'cause I'm classy.

I follow you to your apartment door and sneak up behind you. As I press you against the wall by your neck you whisper, what took you so long. I show you the goods that I bought and say, we needed something to wash down all that beef jerky with. As we melt into each other in a mass of sweat and howls we only take brief pauses to gorge ourselves on jerky and cheap liver killing fluids.

Ahhhh......OK...that wasn't very erotic but you must remember that I AM a complete lunatic.