Another year, A little bit older, a little bit wiser, and a little bit... well a lot a bit sad!!!
it’s about to be midnight here in Germany which means it’s about to be July 19th, 2020. That of course means it is mine and my son’s birthday. Today I am turning 34 and my son is 11...
My God how time flies.... Normally I am able to at least be with my son around our birthday timeframe, if not actually on our birthday period. Not this year though.... this year like a few others I am half the world away. I’m stuck in Germany... can’t go home due to Covid and all the BS that comes with it.
Summer plans ruined, trip cancelled, and spending time with all my kids, my son in particular on our day... NOPE, sorry bout ya, better luck next year.
there are so many times in my life and career as a Soldier that fill me with sorrow and regret, but this wasn’t supposed to be one of those times. This was supposed to be a good summer. I had previously planned with my ex-wife this time to have him on our day. She absolutely agreed to it, and it was gonna be amazing. But then Covid has to rear its ugly head. And ruin/cancel everything.
I know I’m over here whining about travel plans and such while people are sick, out of work, or even dying and that might make me seem terrible, but god dammit this was not supposed to be like this.
I was supposed to be home, I was supposed to be at the beach with my wife and my 3 children. I was supposed to be celebrating this day with my son, my clone, my mini-me!!!
I know he understands, and he accepts my many apologies, as do my girls. But I shouldn’t have to apologize. I shouldn’t have to break their hearts, which in turn breaks mine.
Im not in combat, not on a tour, deployment or anything else like that. I am actually on vacation right now of all things!!!! I just can’t go home, and thus I am disappointing my kids. I mean for fuck sake I haven’t seen them since New Year’s, and I likely won’t see them til Christmas time if I’m lucky and this shit is finally done...
FFFUUUCCCKKK!!!
I miss them so damn much it seriously hurts, calling them and hearing all 3 cry or say “I just wish you were here” or “when are you coming back?” It kills me...
I mean I already missed my Daughter Olivia’s 10th birthday back in May, missing my Son Gary’s 11th today, and am gonna miss Sarina’s 8th in August... All of this on top of all the other shit I’ve missed due to training, deployments, and so on over the last decade plus...
People never tell you the real cost of service before you join... No, you gotta find that out firsthand. The real cost isn’t injury or death...
the real cost is what it does to you and your family. The time away, the pain, the fears, and the idea it puts in the heads of your kids that you simply don’t care... even though nothing could be further from the truth!!!
I MISS MY FAMILY... I MISS THEM SO FUCKING BAD RIGHT NOW... I JUST WANT TO BE DONE, TO HE HOME... AND TO NEVER, EVER LEAVE THEM AGAIN!!!
Happy Birthday Gary Lee Alborg.... I love you with all my hear and soul son... You, your sisters, and your step mother are all that is good in my life, and I cannot wait to be with you all again.