creepie

In 5 months my ex-fiance gets out of prison.In 2003 he shook our son and put him in the hospital for two weeks.He had bleeding on his brain,broken ribs,severe eye hemorrahge,long bone fracture in his leg and 2 week old bruising on his ribs and a prior head injury that healed itself. With thats said I would like to mention my son is now 6 and a perfectly normal boy, thank god. His sentence was 8 years and by the end he will have served 7. Im not ready for this. In fact it haunts me everyday.He is my boogeyman.
His charge was aggravated child abuse.
I cant bring myself to move on from this because I cant forgive someone that nearly killed my child. Till this day he denies it, even though there is a taped confession of exactly what he did. He has made other people believe that he didnt do anything, and I have those people in my life, so knowing they dont think he did it kills me. It kills me because my son deserves the recognition of what happened to him. He WAS hurt by his own father. My son has to deal with that for the rest of his life.
I think I need counseling to prepare me for it. Just thinking about I feel like Im going to have a panic attack. I cant imagine running into him at the mall or something. I dont know what I will do or how I willl feel.
Sorry for dumping this after not blogging for forever. I had to get it out,my heart feels like its going to explode today thinking about it.