What kind of color are you using? Are you going for a natural color or a crayon one? Because if it's the latter I would recommend using Special Effects, it's the only thing I'll use in my hair. As for natural colors, I'm at a loss. Sorry lol
My trick is to only wash my hair every few days (which works out well for me since my hair is so thin, I need a little oil in it). I use as a little shampoo as possible and rinse it out immediately. Lots of conditioner, I've been using Garnier Nutris Color Shield for years.
But yes, I totally feel your pain. I've been coloring my hair for almost 10 years now and it wasn't until maybe this last year that I really got the hang of how to take care of it.