So, I'm fairly certain I write these posts for my own cathartic release, as I doubt anyone reads them. Regardless of that, I still enjoy updating these posts in secret as it's a fun outlet just the same.
The OKCupid girl I spoke of in a previous post came back to town. I spoke about her as only a vivid memory, but now she's here once again. I hung out with her on a few occasions now, and now recalling why I broke it off with her to begin with. Such a troubled girl who becomes violent and cruel when drunk and angry. I never understood why she was so tortured and directionless. At the same time, I always feel like we are on the same frequency. We have the same sadness, only we express it differently. I internalize, and try to use my energy to help people and remain humble. She internalizes, and lashes out with a sense of entitlement that can make her seem ugly.
I asked her to do a photo shoot with me as she said she wanted to get in to modeling. I always felt that this site would be a great outlet for her, but she's too distracted to commit to something like this. We went to the studio and she seemed lost and buried within her phone. She didn't take direction well and instead of using the time to be creative, used it to question why we broke up, and to prod me with questions I cannot answer.
