Guess I'm a tad overdue for an update, huh?
First off, apologies for being MIA for pretty much the entire summer and a big thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes at the beginning of the month.
I've been a bit of a wreck for a good while, now. All self inflicted - I just got me a case of severe hopeless/listless/hibernation syndrome. I've spent my summer mourning memories of when I had a direction and was actually acheieving some real goals in life. I pretty much just need to get back there and have been struggling to screw my head back on in order to do this.
I have no paitience, you see. I want to wake up and be back where I was, in my happy place, being self sufficient, having a life, job, etc. But in reality, I've been so lackadaisical for so fucking long that's it's just not going to be that easy. I am slowly getting back to a place where I have the will to fight again, and it's been one of the hardest challenges I've ever faced.
My largest obstacle atm is finding full time employment. I haven't worked a steady job in six months, and the facts that I never furthered my education and have been something of a career waitress have painted me in a bit of a corner. I'm left with few options other than restaurant work or menial minimum wage slaving, which is a bit embarrassing and at times hard to swallow. But I need to find something sooner than later, as I've dodged my responsibility to pay my share of the family mortgage payment for so long that we're coming very close to losing our home. It's bad enough I've allowed myself to fall victim to my own procrastination, but my family? That's just no good.
Bottom line is I have a long, hard road ahead of me, within myself and out there in the real world, due to many poor decisions I've made along the way. I need to put my head down and charge at life before it's too late.
So that's where I'm at and pretty much why I've been completely inactive in SG land. Still baby stepping, still battling with myself, still struggling to get my footing back. I WILL get there. I have to.
I'm going to try my best to catch up with everyone, read some blogs, yadda yadda. Love and kisses to you all.
First off, apologies for being MIA for pretty much the entire summer and a big thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes at the beginning of the month.
I've been a bit of a wreck for a good while, now. All self inflicted - I just got me a case of severe hopeless/listless/hibernation syndrome. I've spent my summer mourning memories of when I had a direction and was actually acheieving some real goals in life. I pretty much just need to get back there and have been struggling to screw my head back on in order to do this.
I have no paitience, you see. I want to wake up and be back where I was, in my happy place, being self sufficient, having a life, job, etc. But in reality, I've been so lackadaisical for so fucking long that's it's just not going to be that easy. I am slowly getting back to a place where I have the will to fight again, and it's been one of the hardest challenges I've ever faced.
My largest obstacle atm is finding full time employment. I haven't worked a steady job in six months, and the facts that I never furthered my education and have been something of a career waitress have painted me in a bit of a corner. I'm left with few options other than restaurant work or menial minimum wage slaving, which is a bit embarrassing and at times hard to swallow. But I need to find something sooner than later, as I've dodged my responsibility to pay my share of the family mortgage payment for so long that we're coming very close to losing our home. It's bad enough I've allowed myself to fall victim to my own procrastination, but my family? That's just no good.
Bottom line is I have a long, hard road ahead of me, within myself and out there in the real world, due to many poor decisions I've made along the way. I need to put my head down and charge at life before it's too late.
So that's where I'm at and pretty much why I've been completely inactive in SG land. Still baby stepping, still battling with myself, still struggling to get my footing back. I WILL get there. I have to.
I'm going to try my best to catch up with everyone, read some blogs, yadda yadda. Love and kisses to you all.
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
societyspliers:
So, are things any better. What changes have occurred for/by you?
redrobin13:
I hope things are going well for you.....and that you are happy! 