complicated situation there. you really do find yourself being pulled in one direction but dont know if youre going there for the right reasons or really want to continue down that path.
think about it, take some time to yourself. if all elase fails just go with it and let things fall where they may.
LOL you may not be the women in the fantasy on my profile but you certainly sound like the women out of my dirty/nasty/sweaty sex fantasies
it all sounds a little complicated what you have written above, especially the part about the bloke who doesn't know what he wants, and I'm not sure I really have the right to comment on it, so ill just say this, if it makes you feel good dressing more girlie, and your enjoying the compliments (regardless of how new they may be) then keep doing it, personally I cant see why people would call you an ugly monster anyway
Have fun! Be safe! No Regrets!!!
(I just love bumper sticker advice
Seriously though, Go to Town! Enjoy the good and don't sweat the rest.