yeah.
so jimmieknuckles is a dick. but, i dont really want the cancer, so here is good fun for your face and eyes:
20 THINGS YA'LL NEVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ME, AND ARE PROB'LY BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING.....
1. every year i piss myself on purpose before swimming across a public reservoir on the 4th of july. and i do it sober.
2. i shit on my ex-girlfriend, by accident. it was orange diarrhea, and smelled like bad chinese food. which isnt even how she became my ex.......
3. my actual butthole looks like a sea urchin smothered in ketchup.
4. im not actually homosexual. just my weiner and my heinie are.
5. i caved in my ol' lady's head with a hammer. seriously. the other side of the tool was an axe. 180 degrees of rotation and i'd have killed her... (relax, i was imitating ted bundy in a hardware store. it wasnt on purpose)
6. i sometimes wear glitter, because its sparkly.
7. i secretly worry about having too small a chin, which is responsible for my manly beard....
8. i am guilty of using the terms fag-ola, and konkey dong, sometimes in the same sentence.
9. i dont own underwear [mostly cuz i know where to poop]
10. i got arrested at my high school graduation, for ruining it for everyone
11. i have a lame accent that is a little bit stolen from everywhere ive ever been. and its not on purpose, which makes it even less o.k.
12. i hate albie rock as much as yall do....
13. i chew gum like a maniac, because i once got dissed by a girl for having the dragon......
14. ive never ever done any drugs, or drank any hooch, ever. and i hate straight edge kids anyway, because being a posi turd-biter is the opposite of awesome.
15. i got fired from my first tattoo job for fighting 3 marines at a muscular dystrophy benefit fundraiser. seriously.
16. i got fired from my second for being a belligerent, inflammatory douchebag. and mostly for being mean to a big fuckin baby .
17. i talk shit. i mean, a LOT of shit. i mean, like, in person, you might wanna bring toilet paper to the conversation, because i talk so much shit. because i burn bridges.
18. i save all my 'white pee' in a mason jar.
19. my ass is hairy. like a yeti. like from far away it looks like i have two giant hostess snowball cupcakes glued to my back.
20. i wear chaps made from piles of dead hookers labia.
and yeah, i aint aint tappin shit, 'les its your ass.
so jimmieknuckles is a dick. but, i dont really want the cancer, so here is good fun for your face and eyes:
20 THINGS YA'LL NEVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ME, AND ARE PROB'LY BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING.....
1. every year i piss myself on purpose before swimming across a public reservoir on the 4th of july. and i do it sober.
2. i shit on my ex-girlfriend, by accident. it was orange diarrhea, and smelled like bad chinese food. which isnt even how she became my ex.......
3. my actual butthole looks like a sea urchin smothered in ketchup.
4. im not actually homosexual. just my weiner and my heinie are.
5. i caved in my ol' lady's head with a hammer. seriously. the other side of the tool was an axe. 180 degrees of rotation and i'd have killed her... (relax, i was imitating ted bundy in a hardware store. it wasnt on purpose)
6. i sometimes wear glitter, because its sparkly.
7. i secretly worry about having too small a chin, which is responsible for my manly beard....
8. i am guilty of using the terms fag-ola, and konkey dong, sometimes in the same sentence.
9. i dont own underwear [mostly cuz i know where to poop]
10. i got arrested at my high school graduation, for ruining it for everyone
11. i have a lame accent that is a little bit stolen from everywhere ive ever been. and its not on purpose, which makes it even less o.k.
12. i hate albie rock as much as yall do....
13. i chew gum like a maniac, because i once got dissed by a girl for having the dragon......
14. ive never ever done any drugs, or drank any hooch, ever. and i hate straight edge kids anyway, because being a posi turd-biter is the opposite of awesome.
15. i got fired from my first tattoo job for fighting 3 marines at a muscular dystrophy benefit fundraiser. seriously.
16. i got fired from my second for being a belligerent, inflammatory douchebag. and mostly for being mean to a big fuckin baby .
17. i talk shit. i mean, a LOT of shit. i mean, like, in person, you might wanna bring toilet paper to the conversation, because i talk so much shit. because i burn bridges.
18. i save all my 'white pee' in a mason jar.
19. my ass is hairy. like a yeti. like from far away it looks like i have two giant hostess snowball cupcakes glued to my back.
20. i wear chaps made from piles of dead hookers labia.
and yeah, i aint aint tappin shit, 'les its your ass.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
vonscotch:
Thanks for the welcome.
jimmieknuckles:
thanks for the berfday wishes, actually my cake said birtday, fucking completely mispelled and fuct, but hey, maybe birt means meat in portugese