i do feel really stuck. i feel like all my friends are so far away and honestly they don't even know about this now. things have changed so much within the last month.
i feel like i've had such a wake up call....all the things i felt in the pit of my stomach before were not right, have continued to be confirmed.
people don't change - being here hasn't changed anything. all the things that were bs before i came still are. i truly believe with all the time and money spent, he could have given me a little more than he has.
is it any surprise when someone else comes along that my head perks up. i forgot what nice guys were like tbh. it's been so reinforced that i should not like them anymore anyhow b/c they are weak. what's wrong with a sensitive person? what's wrong with someone that wants to tell you they love you multiple times a day?
how can you be shocked that i really want and deserve to be treated right? if you can't do it, then you should understand why i need it with someone else.
what a hassle. i wasn't planning on leaving this place ,packing up my car and driving back to la. what a shitfest. if i leave he's fucked, nowhere to live, no job, but i can't sacrifice all this $, ugh.
and now i have to sit here policed not able to even talk to this boy. i feel so selfish, but i just wanna laugh i don't want to have to think about all this HEAVY stufff.
i feel like i've had such a wake up call....all the things i felt in the pit of my stomach before were not right, have continued to be confirmed.
people don't change - being here hasn't changed anything. all the things that were bs before i came still are. i truly believe with all the time and money spent, he could have given me a little more than he has.
is it any surprise when someone else comes along that my head perks up. i forgot what nice guys were like tbh. it's been so reinforced that i should not like them anymore anyhow b/c they are weak. what's wrong with a sensitive person? what's wrong with someone that wants to tell you they love you multiple times a day?
how can you be shocked that i really want and deserve to be treated right? if you can't do it, then you should understand why i need it with someone else.
what a hassle. i wasn't planning on leaving this place ,packing up my car and driving back to la. what a shitfest. if i leave he's fucked, nowhere to live, no job, but i can't sacrifice all this $, ugh.
and now i have to sit here policed not able to even talk to this boy. i feel so selfish, but i just wanna laugh i don't want to have to think about all this HEAVY stufff.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
lovelygamer:
I wondered how you were doing. I knew you were head over heels and had moved away. You need to take care of yourself, even if it's not good for him. It would be different if he treated you well. If he's not, then he doesn't deserve it.
badangela:
I agree with Oxy and LovelyGamer. You need to look after your self emotionally and financially, even if it is not good for the other person.