it's been awhile since I last had a moment of clarity, so I figured I'd write about it while it lasted:
... as I take the last bite of my mustard potato salad, I pause and take a look around my apartment. then, I begin to laugh, like this reassuring, "everything's so simple" laugh as I say aloud: "you know, I could really live the rest of my life like this".
I mean, what's so bad about it really. I have my dog, my television (the Weather Channel, the World Series game, ESPN and Adult Swim- that's all the tv I really need anyway), my computer with internet, my potato salad, the luxury of being able to go to sleep whenever I want....
I have my camera, my painting easel, a good job. I have enough money, my best friend (which would be my brother) right down the road, my family is not too far. I have new clothes, my music, my turntables. I have my freedom, which would include my freedom of expression, of writing whenever and whatever I want to, and it makes me happy because I am doing it for myself. If someone else happens to like my writing too, then GREAT. but, it's not necessary.
I could fly off somewhere if I really wanted to. maybe, I would have to take a few things into consideration, but I could do it. I have my books. I have my phone. I have my comfortable bed. and, most importantly, I have an expansive, imaginative mind that takes me anywhere and everywhere I want to go anyway. my problem is keeping it out of those "bad" places; those bad places that show me all of the infinite possiblities instead of answers.
but, I am not going to turn this smooth-flowing, revelation of a journal writing into one of those possible endings because I DO have the answer for this:
yes, I could live my entire life just like this because really it's not that bad. in fact, it's good. but, it could be better and I am better. and, we are here to better ourselves and to make use of all of our possibilities. therefore, that is what I am doing and that is what I am going to do because that, in itself, is also a possiblity....
*cheers to all of the infinite possiblities*
... as I take the last bite of my mustard potato salad, I pause and take a look around my apartment. then, I begin to laugh, like this reassuring, "everything's so simple" laugh as I say aloud: "you know, I could really live the rest of my life like this".
I mean, what's so bad about it really. I have my dog, my television (the Weather Channel, the World Series game, ESPN and Adult Swim- that's all the tv I really need anyway), my computer with internet, my potato salad, the luxury of being able to go to sleep whenever I want....
I have my camera, my painting easel, a good job. I have enough money, my best friend (which would be my brother) right down the road, my family is not too far. I have new clothes, my music, my turntables. I have my freedom, which would include my freedom of expression, of writing whenever and whatever I want to, and it makes me happy because I am doing it for myself. If someone else happens to like my writing too, then GREAT. but, it's not necessary.
I could fly off somewhere if I really wanted to. maybe, I would have to take a few things into consideration, but I could do it. I have my books. I have my phone. I have my comfortable bed. and, most importantly, I have an expansive, imaginative mind that takes me anywhere and everywhere I want to go anyway. my problem is keeping it out of those "bad" places; those bad places that show me all of the infinite possiblities instead of answers.
but, I am not going to turn this smooth-flowing, revelation of a journal writing into one of those possible endings because I DO have the answer for this:
yes, I could live my entire life just like this because really it's not that bad. in fact, it's good. but, it could be better and I am better. and, we are here to better ourselves and to make use of all of our possibilities. therefore, that is what I am doing and that is what I am going to do because that, in itself, is also a possiblity....
*cheers to all of the infinite possiblities*
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Steer some of that clever mix of realism/optimism my way. I need an overdose of it.....