So, Ive been wondering something; how do you really use social media? To make new friends? Just stay in touch with your close friends and family? Use it to creep? Post your ideas? What do you do? I have scaled down my use considerably over the years. This poem found here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY I saw back in April for the first time on, of course, facebook. (PLEASE if you read this blog post then you need to follow the link or search "look up" a poem on social media) When I saw this, it really opened my eyes on something that I knew to be true, but was blinded like so many people are on how easy it is to just read, click and go. The video makes you (at least it did me) to close the laptop down, turn off the phone, and just see the world without wondering what Bob or Sue are doing or whatever. I realize the oxymoron of this situation, writing on social media while considering its pros and cons, while admitting that I've scaled down my use.
Here is what I want advice on. I have been working part time at Starbucks since November of 2013. Just to be clear, I can right a small book on the events that lead me to being a part time barista , its just not the point of the post here. About a month after I started, after almost quitting several times before I had a chance to learn how to make a fucking caramel macchiato correctly, I found a reason to why I would stay at this job a little longer, give it chance and see if it is worth it to put up with the bullshit that people working at Starbucks has to put up with. On a busy day a few days before Christmas, I was working on the register ( about the only spot I could handle at the time with heavy business that holiday brings in) and across the mass of people in the lobby, waiting in line I saw a the most beautiful girl. Our eyes met, they locked, and smiles followed. At the time it didnt occur to me at the time, that this could have been one of the moments that hopeless romantics like Ted Mosby are talking about when they see someone from across a room and its love at first sight, after all I was working behind the counter of place she was looking to get a caffeine boast at. Might have been different if I to was just another guest to the that particular place. Anywho, the time came where she was right in front of me, I slowed the pace down to talk longer. I can tell you the drink she ordered, which I am not sure is lame or not. I also was bad at asking names for people cups at this time for fear of not spelling the name right, I asked her for hers. We talked for about as long as is acceptable, boarder line too long for people in. Long story short, she came back fairly regular and for the next few months we would talk and learn more about each other, the length of conversation depending on how busy the store was or was not. During this time, every time we would see it each it other it was always all smiles from the both of us.
One day, back in March, a female coworker pulled me aside after the pretty girl on the other side of the counter had come and gone, saying "dude, that chick was into you." I didnt believe it, but she insisted on the grounds that we both were beaming when we saw each other, voice tones changed when we talked to each other and was different when talking to other people, and some other things she pointed out about our body language. I was dumbfounded. I have felt like this girl is about the most perfect girl for me, and here is someone objectively saying you need to go for it. Now, I have never had a real tough time getting girls, but the girls I get are the ones that I know are going to be flings, but I have had a tough time going for girls that I think are out of my reach. I always fumble and am awkward around the girls I truly feel like might be something more then just a friendly fuck here and there, it is dumb but true. So, I stated asking the girls I work with how I should go about it asking this girl for her number or whatever and I started thinking of ways to ask, use her cup or just grow a pair and ask. BUT, a few days after Sammy (the partner who called it out) took it upon herself to ask Zane (the pretty girl on the other side of the counter) if she had bf, she just didnt want me to get shot down. Evidently she did or at lest said she does. I say that because the next time I saw Zane I told her I had nothing to do with having Sam ask her that, to down play awkwardness, she didnt seem to mind.... So a few days later, after I was letting it go, Zane comes in...Of course I still smiled brightly at her from across the room. She smiled back but looked nervous.... MY MIND WAS RACING WITH OH GREAT THOUGHTS OF THE INSURE BOY.... but she was nervous because she was about to give me something, something that she drew. She drew me an amazing drawing, it was the steal your face logo from the Grateful Dead, which I have a variation tattooed on my inner left arm, which she knew of after seeing a glimpse on day and asking to see them (starbucks doesnt allow tattoos to be too visible) and they are one of if not my favorite band, again she also knew from our little convos. I couldnt believe what just happend.... The girls all said go for it, I didnt because of the suppose BF, also it just seems weird to me for something to ask someone else out in that situation. Regardless, I dedided that if the right moment presented itself again I would ask. The right moment being not a busy fucking moment in the the fucking store which never happens. Anyways, I decided that I would give here a list of songs that I love of the Grateful Dead in hopes to share it with her, and further break the ice. My hope was that she would like them and we could further discuss them, making a common interest. I put the list together, she didnt come back in. This was in late April, near the end of the school year, (the store is located near a collage campus). It was also around this time that I discovered the "look up" poem form the beginning of this post. That poem, wanted me to do just that, look up and ask her. Forget the other stuff and live. It also helped inspire my own poem, which was further inspired my the very same list of songs I just put together. A poem I didnt think anyone would read, especially not the girl it was for! But I let a close female friend read it, she loved it and told me to be careful.. others have read it and said just give it too her, what is there to lose..... I decided to give it to her the next time I saw her, regardless of how busy it was..... She hasnt been back in since sometime in May, the last time being a day I didnt work, BUT she did ask to if I WAS there and according to the partner she talked to looked "disappointed" that I wasnt....This gave me hope....BUT not much as she hasnt been in since that time......
Now, the point comes around, Do I use social media like facebook to contact her, or do I just wait and see if she comes back in , so that I can give her the hand written poem in person. The hopeless romantic in me thinks that by going the facebook route will just diminish what I hope will happen, and above all come off as fucking weird and creepy since we are not "friends" on facebook. We share a mutual friend, which should reveal that I have looked into it. I am just want to know, if I am insane or not, What should I do?! I want her to read the poem I wrote for here, its nothing special, not a love poem by any means. People like it, I have never written a poem before, nor have have I ever been so smitten by someone who I saw through a crowed and had a chance to meet. The song "Scarlet Begonias" by the Grateful Dead is what opened the flood gates for this poem...it is also is why I am hesitant... Any thoughts on this would be helpful.....
The Pretty Girl on the Other Side of the Counter
Rose are red, Violets are blue;
I love your smile and your eyes too.
I remember the first time I saw you;
Our eyes met, and the smiles followed.
I remember the drink your ordered too,
A grande white mocha; I added vanilla for you.
You told me your name was Zane, I smiled all the same
It is not easy to rhyme your name, not that you are to blame,
It’s the hippie parents that gave you a cool unique name,
I have that too; hippie parents that is, not a cool unique name, like Zane.
One day you drew me a picture, it was of my favorite band;
I loved it so much, I just had to do something;
I look at the picture and smile, as it reminds me of the pretty girl and her beautiful smile.
I listen to the Grateful Dead, for added inspiration,
As I try and write you a poem to match your beautiful creation.
I hope you like this, and don’t find it weird;
I’ve been looking for a way to break the ice for some time now,
A polar bears weight was not the answer,
As I have tried so many times to ask you for your number,
I thought this was the best answer,
To give it a try,
Away from all of the noise and clamor;
If you do not like this it is ok,
I’ll gladly say I gave it try,
And I’ll keep on smiling as I look for the right answer,
I just want the chance to meet the pretty girl on the other side of the counter.
I know this is fucking long, but I need to know and hope some reads this and tells it how it is. I should has note, that Ive been on dates and have met other girls while waiting on to see, and not a one has sparked the anything like what what I just described above....
With much love,
Tyler