So as one might imagine, the novelty of being a 23 year old virgin, wears thin from time to time. In fact, quite recently, I've been rather consumed by the idea of getting laid. I'd come to feel as though I was wasting the best years of my life sexually, by sitting on the shelf so to speak. So I decided to be proactive about the issue, and that I was going to find someone specifically to pop my cherry. As I mentioned earlier, I had started using an internet dating service to meet women, but obviously nothing had progressed to the point where my virginity would be at stake. So, I created a profile on the site's "intimate" section, in which I disclosed the fact that I was a virgin (allthough I didn't make too obvious how eager I was to lose it). The ad received a significant amount of interest (including one particular person with whom I'm finding myself more and more intoxicated with by the day). Frankly I was delighted. All these new girls to talk to, all interested in me sexually...many girls have been interested in me before, but few have been sexually so...in fact, the ones I cared about most often seemed rather put off by the thought of me as a sexual being 
I found myself up until 3 or 4am every night talking frankly with these girls, while they showed me things on their webcams. I met one in particular with whom there was a very strong connection sexually. Her name was Amber, and she most certainly had her eyes on my cherry. I must mention at this point that I was not an innocent little bystander caught up in this whirlwind of sexuality. I had in fact been quite aggressive in pursuing sex (online or in person) with these women...to the point where to my surprise, I had successfully aroused a great many of them...some to the point where they felt the need to meet me. Amber and I discussed meeting. We decided that we should go out for coffee or something, to be sure we actually liked one another, but it was pretty much understood that the coffee would be "to go", and that we would hole up in a hotel room, and proceed to get one another off for the rest of the night. Kinky things like public sex, sex toys, and photographing were also mentioned raising the excitement bar. November 29th came, and following a rather intense webcamming session the night prior, we had decided to skip school to meet for a day filled with sex. I had my doubts about losing my virginity this way, but I was so excited, I couldn't sleep. We were to meet at a train station at 11am, go for lunch, and come back to my place. I called in to work and informed them that I wouldn't be in. Stopped by Source, and picked up 8 condoms with the intent of using them all that afternoon/evening. I waited at the train station. Everytime a train pulled in, I could feel my heart beating in my chest. This was going to be it...no more v-card...But trains came and went, and I decided that by the time it was noon, I had been stood up. When I arrived home, there were multiple messages from her appologizing and explaining that she could not get out of class that day because of an exam prep...but that she would "make it up to me". When she got home that afternoon, she showed me what she would do via webcam, and I was more than ready to do anything she wanted. We rescheduled for a hotel room that evening, but doubt began to creep into my mind...was this really how I wanted to lose it? I certainly wouldn't be able to stop myself once I met her, but how would I feel after? The fact that I was even doubting it, led me to believe that perhaps this was not right. But I had allready told her so much...gotten her so worked up (apparently she had not slept the night before either). I don't particularly fancy myself a tease. Frankly, as a result of past experience, I'd come to loathe the idea of teasing someone indefinitely and never following through. Still I plugged my car in and pocketed the condoms awaiting her call.
The girl with whom I was actually fiding myself falling for, despite the distance that seperates us happened to sign on to msn right then. After a brief chit-chat, I started discussing all this with her in a very open manner. She helped by presenting both sides of the argument, listening, not trying to force my decision one way or another, and was VERY respectful. I started to wish that we had met while I was in her hometown, and that she had stamped my v-card. She's certainly worth it. Was Amber? Amber made contact...she was free and ready to do anything now. In what turned out to be surprisingly one of the toughest decisions I've had to make, I turned her down despite the fact that had she showed up that morning, we would have still been locked together in bed. Did I turn her down because I knew it wasn't right? Because, I was afraid for my safety (she had 13 previous partners)? Because I'd held on to it this long, and it seemed a shame to throw it away so suddenly? Or was it because I kind of longed for someone special to take it (I may have even had someone in mind)? Amber still wants to meet, but I don't know that I can do that. I foresee coffee with her being a segue to making out, being a segue to oral sex, being a segue to sex. The atmosphere between us is so sexually-charged, I doubt we can ever be friends, or more than fuck buddies. I told her as much. She still wants to talk on msn. I told her I need a break. I've since taken measures to prevent interest in my intimate add...but not taken it down (that is where I met the girl who was so helpful in helping me to make the right decision, and I'm very happy to have met her). I decided going to the Rat & Parrot with friends would be a good way to end the evening, but was over an hour late because I couldn't tear myself away from my new msn buddy
. Everything I find out about her leads me to want to know more...
Why must my best connection be with someone on the wrong side of Saskatchewan. Another trip east may be in the works shortly (at least potentially over the Christmas break).
*sigh*
I found myself up until 3 or 4am every night talking frankly with these girls, while they showed me things on their webcams. I met one in particular with whom there was a very strong connection sexually. Her name was Amber, and she most certainly had her eyes on my cherry. I must mention at this point that I was not an innocent little bystander caught up in this whirlwind of sexuality. I had in fact been quite aggressive in pursuing sex (online or in person) with these women...to the point where to my surprise, I had successfully aroused a great many of them...some to the point where they felt the need to meet me. Amber and I discussed meeting. We decided that we should go out for coffee or something, to be sure we actually liked one another, but it was pretty much understood that the coffee would be "to go", and that we would hole up in a hotel room, and proceed to get one another off for the rest of the night. Kinky things like public sex, sex toys, and photographing were also mentioned raising the excitement bar. November 29th came, and following a rather intense webcamming session the night prior, we had decided to skip school to meet for a day filled with sex. I had my doubts about losing my virginity this way, but I was so excited, I couldn't sleep. We were to meet at a train station at 11am, go for lunch, and come back to my place. I called in to work and informed them that I wouldn't be in. Stopped by Source, and picked up 8 condoms with the intent of using them all that afternoon/evening. I waited at the train station. Everytime a train pulled in, I could feel my heart beating in my chest. This was going to be it...no more v-card...But trains came and went, and I decided that by the time it was noon, I had been stood up. When I arrived home, there were multiple messages from her appologizing and explaining that she could not get out of class that day because of an exam prep...but that she would "make it up to me". When she got home that afternoon, she showed me what she would do via webcam, and I was more than ready to do anything she wanted. We rescheduled for a hotel room that evening, but doubt began to creep into my mind...was this really how I wanted to lose it? I certainly wouldn't be able to stop myself once I met her, but how would I feel after? The fact that I was even doubting it, led me to believe that perhaps this was not right. But I had allready told her so much...gotten her so worked up (apparently she had not slept the night before either). I don't particularly fancy myself a tease. Frankly, as a result of past experience, I'd come to loathe the idea of teasing someone indefinitely and never following through. Still I plugged my car in and pocketed the condoms awaiting her call.
The girl with whom I was actually fiding myself falling for, despite the distance that seperates us happened to sign on to msn right then. After a brief chit-chat, I started discussing all this with her in a very open manner. She helped by presenting both sides of the argument, listening, not trying to force my decision one way or another, and was VERY respectful. I started to wish that we had met while I was in her hometown, and that she had stamped my v-card. She's certainly worth it. Was Amber? Amber made contact...she was free and ready to do anything now. In what turned out to be surprisingly one of the toughest decisions I've had to make, I turned her down despite the fact that had she showed up that morning, we would have still been locked together in bed. Did I turn her down because I knew it wasn't right? Because, I was afraid for my safety (she had 13 previous partners)? Because I'd held on to it this long, and it seemed a shame to throw it away so suddenly? Or was it because I kind of longed for someone special to take it (I may have even had someone in mind)? Amber still wants to meet, but I don't know that I can do that. I foresee coffee with her being a segue to making out, being a segue to oral sex, being a segue to sex. The atmosphere between us is so sexually-charged, I doubt we can ever be friends, or more than fuck buddies. I told her as much. She still wants to talk on msn. I told her I need a break. I've since taken measures to prevent interest in my intimate add...but not taken it down (that is where I met the girl who was so helpful in helping me to make the right decision, and I'm very happy to have met her). I decided going to the Rat & Parrot with friends would be a good way to end the evening, but was over an hour late because I couldn't tear myself away from my new msn buddy
. Everything I find out about her leads me to want to know more...Why must my best connection be with someone on the wrong side of Saskatchewan. Another trip east may be in the works shortly (at least potentially over the Christmas break).
*sigh*
Heres hoping Cupid is looking out for ya.