Once again the blog homework for SG's just speaks to me. I've dealt with a lot of internet hatred over the course of my life and while oftentimes I've dealt with it pretty badly I think I've finally come to a place in my life where I can deal with it pretty well. It's taken a long time and I even had to self immolate my social media presence once or twice. But in the end I finally found a way to deal with hate that doesn't leave me scrambling for my sanity.
1. Haters don't want to know you. How often have you gotten a message that was so factually incorrect you swore it was sent to the wrong person? Haters don't know you and they don't want to because that means they would find out you're actually a pretty awesome person. In order to hate you they have to create a fictional you in their imaginations and then try to hold you to that construct. You don't have to defend yourself from every factually incorrect statement about who you really are or any at all for that matter. Those that know you and love you will never accept that facsimile of you some internet troll has created just so they can say mean things at you.
2. You have the strength in numbers, not them. The shocking number of hate messages and comments you've received are probably coming from an equally shockingly small number of people. Probably only one. Haters live by deception and lies so not only will they make up anything they want about you but they will create fictional versions of themselves to justify it. Those thirty or forty hateful comments you got overnight could very well be the result of one person making sub accounts just to make it seem like they have the overwhelming majority on their side. They don't. They never did. Don't ever respond to each comment individually because each one will only go to the same person. Reply to one and leave it at that. That's all the people you're talking to anyway.
3. Haters want silence, not to be silenced. Nothing infuriates a hater more than not being allowed to spread their hate. The best way to deal with someone like them is to block them and all off their sub-accounts. If you want to play dirty then block all but one account and only ever reply to that account forcing them to play by your rules. If you just ignore their comments but allow them to make them they will and they will never stop. Haters love nothing more than to pick on what they believe to be an easy target. Make them work for it and they'll give up.
4. Haters don't want dialogue. The bottom line is that no matter what a hater may say to you they only want to talk at you, not with you. They don't care what you think or how you feel. If they did, they wouldn't be haters. Very often haters will talk to you at great length about topics they themselves don't give two shits about. They just love seeing you get angry at them and are enjoying the attention they otherwise wouldn't get. Remember, haters are dishonest and will happily lie and make up stories just to keep you on the defensive. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to debunk all of their made-up-on-the-spot bullshit.
So now that you've got an idea of who you're up against what exactly do you do when a hater (inevitably) comes knocking at your internet door?
1. Just because they sent you a message doesn't mean you have to reply. Very often the best defense is to say nothing at all. While I'm a big advocate that no hate speech should go unchallenged this isn't always practical. You've got a life, you have friends and family that love you and they deserve your time a lot more than some random icon on a message board does. Often times insult laden messages demanding that you kill yourself have nothing to do with you and are just a pathetic cry for attention. In these cases the best course of action is always to block the sender, delete the message and move on with your life. Even if you have to do this 1000X times a day just remember that they can only keep it up for so long before all three of them are blocked permanently. Then you can go back to the 100 friends and family that matter to you most.
2. If you reply keep the number of replies to a minimum. There's a saying about beating your head against a brick wall. It only feels good when you stop. As I said before haters don't want dialogue and even those few genuinely hateful people only want to seed their hate speech unchecked. Hate speech should never go unchallenged but know your limits. Send one, two replies at most and then move on. Otherwise you'll be dancing the square of hate from now until your dying day.
3. Change the rules of engagement. Hate speech comes in many varieties from thinly veiled academic speeches to straight up insult fests. If you decide to reply to one of these haters identify what methods they are using in their comments and formulate a reply that violates the rules they are attempting to establish. Take control of the conversation and don't let the haters dictate to you how you should feel about anything. Stick to your guns, never throw insults and be as concise as possible. You aren't leaving these comments for them, you're leaving these comments for anyone else who might happen by. There's a whole sub-sect of people on the internet who love to spend their days reading comments, give them a counter point to the hater's point. Word it well enough and you'll be convincing no matter how few replies you actually leave.
4. Always spread the love. Martin Luther King Jr. once said that only love can drive away hate and there's a lot of truth to that statement. Leave comments in your threads about how much you appreciate the positivity you've received. If you're a content creator make posts or videos to your followers telling them how much you appreciate them. Haters won't be the only ones to reply to you on the internet so make sure you give as much love as is deserving to those that aren't haters. This applies whether it's your post or someone else's. If you see a comment you like, drop a like and leave a positive comment for them. We're all in this together and a little love can drive away a lot of hate.