brandi77

To Sophronia-

OMG!! Let me tell you from personal experience that there is nothing you can do! You know that great old line used to dump someone ~like my favorite ex used on me~ "it's not you, it's me," well it's not you it's him.

Your whole situation sounds just like mine...I had this awesome boyfriend for like 6 months, then I started trying to wean him off of me and finally broke up with him at something like the ten month mark. Well, he got totally obsessed with me. He would call me constantly. I mean like I would come home from work and (my caller ID would record how many times I got called from a certain number) no shit, his number would say like anywhere from 8-10 calls to the highest, 32! He would try to do anonymous number, but it would come up as like 25 calls from unknown caller. Duh! Like I didn't know who it was. During this time I also memorized every payphone number within a 5 block radius thanks to him. People would tell me to just change my number, but I knew that if I had done that he would have just come over that many times (we lived near each other, which in this case was a total drawback). Not to imply in that last sentence that he never came over...I lived in between him and where he worked, so he would also show up before every one of his shifts, begging me what did he do? Can we just work on it? Please Brandi, please he would beg me. Then there was this bar across from where I lived...so he would get drunk and come banging on my door at all hours (mind - I worked 1st shift so I went to bed early, and he worked 2nd so he could drink all night). One night he got really drunk and mad at me and came over and kicked my door off its hinges and came in, which scared the shit out of me. Picture this- I'm only wearing a t-shirt and underwear and sleeping peacefully. So I wake out of dead sleep and am like What the FUCK!!! He had a beer bottle and proceeds to smash it against my bedroom door and beer and glass go everywhere. He screams at me he's going to kill my dog if she comes near him. I am going to fucking slash her throat he says! And I am physically holding my dog with all my strength (shes like ninety pounds), she's snarling and barking and growling, and her spit is flying everywhere and her body was like a rock. I wanted to let her tear him up, but I didn't want anything to happen to her more. So he screams at me some more and then quickly leaves and I watch him from my window go back to the bar. So I knew he'd be back cause he was always so predictable. I should've called the police, but I just threw clothes on grabbed my wallet and bag, put leash on my dog and sped to my sisters house for the night. He called her house a whole bunch that night, harassing me and saying really nasty stuff to my sister and her boyfriend on the answering machine. And that was the end of that night.

But not the end of the love story.

So I had broke it off in the fall. I think it was October. So a few months had gone by and every week, relentlessly, it was the same old shit. Coming over at all hours and nonstop calling, etc. He only got crazy that one nightBut still he wouldnt leave me alone, and the damage was done. I would jump at every little noise, quit going out in public cause he would harass me, etcThe worst part was if anyone knocked on my door I would lock myself in my bathroom and pray for them to go away, even if it was one of my friends (I couldnt call out and ask who it was at the door in case it was him!). I had saved up enough to move like 4 months later. I waited till a random rainy Tuesday morning (cause if it was raining he wouldnt walk over) and got a moving van and moved myself in the rain. That same day I got a PO box, disconnected my landline, and got a cell phone. My sister also traded cars with me.

Besides for him still calling me at work like everyday, I thought that was the end. Wrong. So like a month after I had moved in with my friend and his kid, I come home one day and my friends kid and a couple of his friends tell me that this weird guy had showed up like 10-15 minutes ago. OH GOD! My heart turned to stone and dropped straight into my stomach. (I know he had followed me home from work at some point). I locked the door and waited cause I knew hed be back. He comes back and bangs on the front door and I called my neighbor (who is like a huge intimidating man) and said get over here! Then told the kids to lock themselves in the back bedroom. So I went out on the porch and locked the door behind me. And hes like what do you mean moving and not telling me? Im like fuck you, who do you think you are? You dont need or deserve to know anything about my life! As Im saying this Im looking over his shoulder and am noticing how he parked across the driveway effectively blocking my car. What an asshole. So he comes giant neighbor man with a friend and my ex sidles toward his car and gets in and then my neighbor just calmly threatens to take his gun and shoot him in the face if he ever shows up over here again at his house to bother me. (How nice of giant neighbor to make it up that we live together). Then Asshead leaves. And I didnt see him again for a whole three months when he showed up at my work. After that he only called me about once a week and it tapered off over time

This was 3 years ago. He has apologized profusely a number of times. I think hes finally over it. The last time he came to see me at work was in June and the last time he called me was like a month or so after that.

Hope it doesnt last that long or take that path for you. In my experience there is nothing you can do.

You know the worst thing about the whole situation he was really good in bed. How disappointing.

Sorry, I meant that to be a comment to you but it just got too long.