The sub/dom relationship is a difficult one to navigate solo, let alone with a partner. Partly making things this tricky is ones change in preference over time. Yes, from sub to dom or vice versa, but I'm speaking more about the changing preferences in intensity. For instance, someone who likes being punched but eventually finds that having that done is too much (whatever that means for them) and doesn't want it done anymore, but they still want to be slapped.
I've found out a lot about myself acting out both sub and dom roles. Really, it's taught me as much about who I am and what I need outside of the bedroom as inside of it. As much as society tends to separate the two, they really are one and the same.
Right now, my problem is finding a man who's able to access his vulnerability in bed. Women are taught to show vulnerability, but it's often false and often not an emotional vulnerability but a display of weakness and submission. Society mixes up these two so often that men don't seem to understand that there's a difference between them.