blasfemme

i was born "tounge-tied". this means that the tissue (frenulum) under my tounge was connected all the way to the tip. they cut it back so that i could eat. however because of this, i have always had a short tounge .

when i was 5 i had a speech impediment, a residual effect from being tounge-tied. i couldn't pronounce hard sound letters like K and V. for instance, i used to say "let's go for a ride in the ban" instead of "van".

anyway, one afternoon my mom took me in for a doctor's appt. i had been helping my mom do yardwork and was so excited and proud that i wanted to tell the nice receptionist what i had done...

i proudly declared in a loud 5 year old voice...

"guess what Peggy? i RAPED the yard!!"

this is a true traumatizing childhood story. they laughed at me and made me repeat myself to everyone in the doctor's office. "bill, come here! now, tell him what you did again...i RAPED the yard...HAHAHAHAHA". took me years to get it. that's just sick! maybe i should get a lawyer?? maybe just a stint on the maury povich show?

and they wonder why i'm weird....