(Wrote this back in 05? Just giving you all a glimpse of me)
The mask, we all wear it. The smile we put on after our first wakening moments, the shrug thrown instead of the fist. Personally I am so sick of these kinds of acts. I know that they have prevented wars and stop fights. Yet still I find myself sickened by the frequency of which they are used.
I to, of course, use it. I have to in my line of work. Always HAPPY... never pissed. I've found that people are much more likely to sale your product if you are always happy, friendly and courteous. I don't know if the reason for my new found epiphany is do to the fact that I no longer drink and often am overwhelmed by my emotions, but I find it harder and Harder (!) to put the mask on. I just want things to be as they are.
Hiding your emotions from anothers, fearing hurt or repercussions that would devastate my, what seems to be so very fragile state of mind. Saying, "Yes Sir." as apposed to, "Sorry can't fucking help ya... I just want to say the first thing that comes to mind, and a lot of people would say, "Oh, well then just say It.", but I ask you. Of all the many time you are found to be in not so very nice mood, how often do you say what comes to mind to those who have a direct effect on your life.
Not be set on anger, but it is the emotion I find it a lot harder to deal with now a days. Well I guess that, and Love. Just as much as I wish I could punch the ass hole that thinks he knows more about the things I work with on a daily bases. I wish I could tell the people around me how much they mean to me. It seems life is too short to hold these kinds of things in. Yet.... WE ALL DO IT! Now, I am not claiming to know it all, hell I am not claiming to know a little, but what I do know is that I am tired of wearing this damn mask.
So, to those who wish to tell me I don't know anger or love. I can assure you. I do. I lost more in the very short 21 years that I have been alive then most have in a life time, and I know there are those who have lost more than I. I just wish those people would speak up. Just so I know that I am not the only one feeling awkward and out of place.
Hell, give me back my poverty and empty stomach. At less then I know where I am and what I need to do to stay alive. More money ... unavoidably more problems. With food in my gut and money in my wallet, people are much different. More masks. When you're poor ... no one can afford mask and everything is face value. Love is Love, and Anger is Anger.
To those who know I love them and to those I can't get courage to say it, I love you. Whole hearted, unquestionably I would die for you. I would put the mask down for you. Now for the pricks who don't know when I am bullshitting or being legitimate. Piss off, and Fuck you very much. Have a great life
The mask, we all wear it. The smile we put on after our first wakening moments, the shrug thrown instead of the fist. Personally I am so sick of these kinds of acts. I know that they have prevented wars and stop fights. Yet still I find myself sickened by the frequency of which they are used.
I to, of course, use it. I have to in my line of work. Always HAPPY... never pissed. I've found that people are much more likely to sale your product if you are always happy, friendly and courteous. I don't know if the reason for my new found epiphany is do to the fact that I no longer drink and often am overwhelmed by my emotions, but I find it harder and Harder (!) to put the mask on. I just want things to be as they are.
Hiding your emotions from anothers, fearing hurt or repercussions that would devastate my, what seems to be so very fragile state of mind. Saying, "Yes Sir." as apposed to, "Sorry can't fucking help ya... I just want to say the first thing that comes to mind, and a lot of people would say, "Oh, well then just say It.", but I ask you. Of all the many time you are found to be in not so very nice mood, how often do you say what comes to mind to those who have a direct effect on your life.
Not be set on anger, but it is the emotion I find it a lot harder to deal with now a days. Well I guess that, and Love. Just as much as I wish I could punch the ass hole that thinks he knows more about the things I work with on a daily bases. I wish I could tell the people around me how much they mean to me. It seems life is too short to hold these kinds of things in. Yet.... WE ALL DO IT! Now, I am not claiming to know it all, hell I am not claiming to know a little, but what I do know is that I am tired of wearing this damn mask.
So, to those who wish to tell me I don't know anger or love. I can assure you. I do. I lost more in the very short 21 years that I have been alive then most have in a life time, and I know there are those who have lost more than I. I just wish those people would speak up. Just so I know that I am not the only one feeling awkward and out of place.
Hell, give me back my poverty and empty stomach. At less then I know where I am and what I need to do to stay alive. More money ... unavoidably more problems. With food in my gut and money in my wallet, people are much different. More masks. When you're poor ... no one can afford mask and everything is face value. Love is Love, and Anger is Anger.
To those who know I love them and to those I can't get courage to say it, I love you. Whole hearted, unquestionably I would die for you. I would put the mask down for you. Now for the pricks who don't know when I am bullshitting or being legitimate. Piss off, and Fuck you very much. Have a great life