aya

I have a facination with children's names.

Gweneth Paltrow recently had a baby. The baby's name is Apple. Apple Blythe Alison Martin.

I guess when you're famous you can name your kids whatever the fuck you want, and possibly ruin their lives.

Despite this, I always wanted to name my son Duke. If his middle name was "of" than he'd be "Duke of (insert last name here)" and that would just be cool. In the funny sense. This would also work with Earl, Baron or Squire and a slew of others.

But Apple's name has inspired my to-be daughter's name. If her first name was "Pine" and her second name was "Apple", she's be "Pineapple", but nobody would get it and they'd just call her Pine, like a tree, not Pineapple like a fruit. At least she'd be able to easily answer that all too often used question; "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?".

And this is why, ladies and gentlemen, you don't want me to name your children.