auralpleasure

I tried to update last night, when I had all these thoughts in my head. It was a pretty personal entry, but my internet kinda died on me. whatever.

I had a friend over and we ended up looking through my high school yearbook. At first we just laughed at the pictures, and then we moved on to the things people wrote in it. Some of those things still really affect me when I read them, which is strange.

Some people consider high school the best years of their lives. Other people say that all their lifelong friends were people they met in college including the people they marry.

I can't see myself fitting into either of these categories, but, I do know that I really want to keep in touch with certain people from high school. I know this was years ago, but I still have a deep bond with many of them and I always figured I was too lazy to keep in touch.

I guess I had sort of an epiphany last night. I'm starting to think that the reason I don't keep in touch with people is that I'm not proud of how I've spent my time. I wasn't really proud of who I was so it was hard to face all these people who are out in the world doing things.

I also realized that there are things in my life that I can be proud of now. If this job pans out, then that is one. Also, tonight, I'm playing a gig with my own band for the first time. My life really isn't the black hole that it was after I graduated college and I should stop being ashamed of who I am, who I was, and what I do.