i know he was the center of your life but in the process were you taking good care of yourself? were your needs being considered just as important as his? probably not. because it's hard to be that devoted to someone and still be taking care of yourself the way you deserve to be. and he wasn't taking good care of you that way either.
i know what you're feeling. i am going through something really similar. but this is happening for a reason and maybe that is to free you up for something that will fulfilling your needs and desires and dreams.
starting over sounds like a great idea. you can pick the place because you aren't tied to anyone else. you answer to no one but yourself. go where your heart wants to.
the tattoos are a lot to deal with. but they are beautiful and if you can give them a meaning that comes from within you instead of defining them by him you can reclaim your own skin. they can be a reminder of what you lost but also a symbol of the pain you've endured and the beauty that has been and is being revealed from within you now. to try to forget him would be impossible. but you can give those memories and tattoos new meaning. and hopefully feel better about things.
much love and support in this rough time...big hugs...
Those tats are yours not his. Don't allow him to possess any part of you. From the sounds of it he is not worthy of your love.
As for getting away, If you go, go on your terms not just to run away. It's the shitty parts of life that truly define us. Like nitche' said what does not kill us makes us stronger.
There is a bit of a silver lining.. at least the tats are on your back and you don't have to see them every day! (Ok, sorry just trying to make you smile a bit!!)
Stay strong!
You and Darlinginvalid should go out, have large quantites of wine... etc. you both sound like you could use a friend!!
the umbrella is actually from Target. it's part of their standard collection so as far as i know it's in Targets all around the country. it's so fun because you can see through it and actually still see the rain, snow, sleet falling. the only problem is the plastic is kinda sticky so you have to be careful when you open it because it tends to stick to itself unless you dry it out really well and don't squish it.
the lights of course are not recommended for outdoor use
til next time...hope you are doing better and feeling stronger everyday
i know he was the center of your life but in the process were you taking good care of yourself? were your needs being considered just as important as his? probably not. because it's hard to be that devoted to someone and still be taking care of yourself the way you deserve to be. and he wasn't taking good care of you that way either.
i know what you're feeling. i am going through something really similar. but this is happening for a reason and maybe that is to free you up for something that will fulfilling your needs and desires and dreams.
starting over sounds like a great idea. you can pick the place because you aren't tied to anyone else. you answer to no one but yourself. go where your heart wants to.
the tattoos are a lot to deal with. but they are beautiful and if you can give them a meaning that comes from within you instead of defining them by him you can reclaim your own skin. they can be a reminder of what you lost but also a symbol of the pain you've endured and the beauty that has been and is being revealed from within you now. to try to forget him would be impossible. but you can give those memories and tattoos new meaning. and hopefully feel better about things.
much love and support in this rough time...big hugs...