HI, i am so over being bitter about MEN and the world. Its exhausting and i get ZERO pleasure from it. 
Today im feeling really lazy and depressed... i dont even have enough energy to drag my ass out of my PJs and out side to the sunny hell waiting out my window. (its bright outside)
I am so bored with my current state of life. Nothing fun is happening, we always do the same damn things everyday, i hate the color of my hair and cant decide on a color...and even then i dont have the motivation to dye it myself.......ALKA HELP ME lol. .does anyone have any ideas on what i should dye my hair to?? fuck it i jsut need a makeover.....ALKA use me as an experiment for your new cosmetology classes.
I AM SO UGLY!!!!! god damn i look in the mirror and i hate it lol. but i think thats because the day before yesterday 4 people told me that im ugly and Alka is 10 times prettier than me.....etc . made me feel shitty. but then i thought about it and everyone we hang out with seems to gravitate to Alka. and they come to me for advice. no one even just holds me anymore and im so angry at the world that i dont let anyone near me. I cant even cry. i cant be any kind of sad. all i feel is depressed and angry. I dont even have any crazy butterfly inducing secret crushes that i normally get small pleasure from. I dont FEEL anymore dammit!! Someone....anyone....... make me feel something please!!!! hold me down and yell at me till i cry and then hold me and soothe my tears.....be nice to me and then let me develop a crush !!! oh boy i think im losing it lol
i am surrounded by devious people....no one says what they mean and means what they say. no one tells the truth and everyone feeds on bullshit.... im so sick of it and there isnt enough narcotics in the world to numb the sting. in fact i feel numb. to everything. it makes life exhausting and boring. and i get angry so easy. i swear my life is like out of a movie or something. one of those angry chip-on-her-shoulder women that it takes someone to shake her and yell at her to realize that someone appreciates her. i feel unappreciated.
change of subject.......
i was reading the SQMidwest threads and i agree someone needs to plan an IOWA SG get together... preferably in Iowa City. i would be game. i need to meet some new faces anyways.
Alka...ive got one of those codien induced ideas for a photoset still that u should tell me what u think. we REALLY need to get a two girl set for PSW. lol and from what i hear......code_caducus wants to eat leather over Alka and me. lol.... cute......anyone else have any ideas for two girl set they want to see???
ok well..... imma go..i got things to do
someone needs to cuddle with me...... im lonely.....
Today im feeling really lazy and depressed... i dont even have enough energy to drag my ass out of my PJs and out side to the sunny hell waiting out my window. (its bright outside)
I am so bored with my current state of life. Nothing fun is happening, we always do the same damn things everyday, i hate the color of my hair and cant decide on a color...and even then i dont have the motivation to dye it myself.......ALKA HELP ME lol. .does anyone have any ideas on what i should dye my hair to?? fuck it i jsut need a makeover.....ALKA use me as an experiment for your new cosmetology classes.
I AM SO UGLY!!!!! god damn i look in the mirror and i hate it lol. but i think thats because the day before yesterday 4 people told me that im ugly and Alka is 10 times prettier than me.....etc . made me feel shitty. but then i thought about it and everyone we hang out with seems to gravitate to Alka. and they come to me for advice. no one even just holds me anymore
and im so angry at the world that i dont let anyone near me. I cant even cry. i cant be any kind of sad. all i feel is depressed and angry. I dont even have any crazy butterfly inducing secret crushes that i normally get small pleasure from. I dont FEEL anymore dammit!! Someone....anyone....... make me feel something please!!!! hold me down and yell at me till i cry and then hold me and soothe my tears.....be nice to me and then let me develop a crush !!! oh boy i think im losing it lol
i am surrounded by devious people....no one says what they mean and means what they say. no one tells the truth and everyone feeds on bullshit.... im so sick of it and there isnt enough narcotics in the world to numb the sting. in fact i feel numb. to everything. it makes life exhausting and boring. and i get angry so easy. i swear my life is like out of a movie or something. one of those angry chip-on-her-shoulder women that it takes someone to shake her and yell at her to realize that someone appreciates her. i feel unappreciated.
change of subject.......
i was reading the SQMidwest threads and i agree someone needs to plan an IOWA SG get together... preferably in Iowa City. i would be game. i need to meet some new faces anyways.
Alka...ive got one of those codien induced ideas for a photoset still that u should tell me what u think. we REALLY need to get a two girl set for PSW. lol and from what i hear......code_caducus wants to eat leather over Alka and me. lol.... cute......anyone else have any ideas for two girl set they want to see???
ok well..... imma go..i got things to do
someone needs to cuddle with me...... im lonely.....
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
x_obscure_x:
Awww I so wish I lived near you. You're so beautiful! There's no way in hell you're ugly. I'd love to do your hair though! and make-up because that's cool. I hope your self esteeem boosts up soon. You rule so much, and you have no idea. Bwahaha see you soon sweetpea. You rock. 
bloodmilksky:
Yeah, Sherrard is scary. Lots o' whitetrash burnin', shootin', and uhh...drinkin' (which usually is what leads to the first 2). I just moved to Davenport with my cousin, so it's a bit better.