I just got off the phone with Travis. We had been talking about me catching a ride with one of his friends to go see him this weekend (this had been HIS idea by the way!)

When I call him, he tells me that he had been talking to his roomate (I hate it when people ask the opinion of someone who hasn't even met me of what to do concerning me). And he came to the conclusion that it would be best for us not to see each other for the next few weeks. He says " I can't be your friend and your boyfriend. You won't learn to enjoy college unless you stick it out for the first few weeks."

It's true, I'm not the kind of person who makes friends easily. But also, I don't concern myself with making friends, because people don't make me happy. I have met a few people, but I still prefer to be by myself.

It's like Travis wants to force me to enjoy college as much as he does. And the truth is, I'm pretty much unhappy where ever I go, and no matter what I do. So I don't think this is going to happen. I'm not him, I wish he would understand that and treat me as such. I'm especially not happy around large groups of people. I like to keep to myself. I don't know why I have to socialize to be happy.

I'm afraid he won't let me see him untill I've satisfied his qualifications for what it is to "enjoy college" and "be happy".

I don't know what to think about this.

I just get insulted when other people tell me what's in my best interest.

In other news, I started Kendo last night. Practices are Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. It seems pretty intense, but I'm determined to stick with it. I felt really powerful and almost outside of myself. We just practiced footwork, and how to do a proper head shot. I felt really good afterwards. Excercise is always a good anti-depressant for me. I think it will be good for me.