I'm not on the site nearly enough. It isn't because I don't like it - I've been caught in a grind of school, work and house that's been going on since I commenced my degree in 2016, and has only gotten more work-focused and heavy since I started posting to OnlyFans consistently in 2017. There's always -something- I should be doing - housework or study or porn-work and I've gotten into this mentality of "if I'm not making money from it or improving my life in a direct, objectively tangible way, why am I doing it?" without even realising what I was doing. When I got my licence recently (woo!) I found that I stopped one of my biggest hobbies - reading, especially comic books. Because I only made time to read them when I was on the bus or train - I really struggle to fit time for fun and relaxation into my life.
I've stopped painting, and hadn't shot anything non-SG or OF for years until very recently (the photos you see here are from a shoot on June the 2nd with Lupine Photography.) Even though modelling is how I got here in the first place. I LOVE SG and I LOVE my job - so fucking much and I'm so privileged to have these things as major parts of my life - but they're not the full extent of what my soul thrives on creatively.
Three weeks ago I started taking baths. Like, I always clean myself but it's usually a five minute shower, unless I'm washing my hair - but a relaxing bath was foreign to me until very recently. The last I'd had before the last month would have been as a child. But I started, with the only goal being to read comics. No phone (I literally sleep with it under my pillow) and no work. Just working on my to-read list of comics.
It's been really fucking nice.
This is a lot of rambling. But the point is - I miss this site. I miss checking out all the new hotties and sitting here refreshing the "hopefuls who've gone pink!" thread when I know a girl has gone pink and I'm waiting for everyone to jump in and congratulate them. I miss seeing photographers slowly grow and change in how they shoot for SG as they shoot more sets. And models - as they get more (or sometimes less!!) tattoos, new hair, and as their modelling ability and confidence in front of the camera grows through time.
I need to hang out here more, actually put some time aside for it. Because I LOVE this site.
