anticus

I have to move on, but I haven't been able to.

And I don't help myself.

I went to her apt. last night. Don't know why. Don't know what I expected. But I learned much more than I wanted to know or can handle. Misght as well have just broken up with her last night. All it did was feed her ego and give her the power back.

I am weak and ashamed. I hurt. I don't know how to make myself happy and I sure as fuck don't know how to stop hurting myself.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I dread the journal comments. I just want to vomit.

UPDATE: I still hurt somethin fierce. Tremendous jealousy! I'm just sick to my stomach. I hate this so much.