Hey, you are wise beyond your years and seem to have an insight that most people take a lifetime to develop. Never underestimate yourself, and remember that everyone (even you) have the right to hurt, no matter what the reason. If you ever want to talk (type), I'm a good listener (reader). Plus, I usually stay awake all freakin' night!

Self loathing - I am all too familiar with it. I usually end up despising myself for not being all the things that I know I have the potential to fulfill. It's funny how you can hate yourself at the same time as knowing that you are smarter than, funnier than, and/or more attractive than most people.

Hanging around the "wrong type" of people isn't such a bad thing. As long as you keep your individuality and don't become one of them, it's fine (unless you're in real danger). With your level of awareness, I don't see you having a problem. Sometimes that safety net is all we have to keep us from complete insanity. I've been pretty close on a few occasions.

Don't rush yourself with fixing everything. People always use the cliche that "knowing is half the battle," well I can tell you from experience that that is bullshit. Awareness is important, yes, but it does not mean that you can just fix everything immediately. Give yourself time.

OK, now that I've written a novel, I'll shaddap.

Ha ha! I just posted in my own journal instead of yours. Whee...I'm embracing my stupidity already!

Here's what I meant to say here, not there...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Insanity and intelligence go hand in hand. Maybe if we get partial lobotomies, we will be able to embrace our stupidity and ultimately find true happiness.


Fuck that, I'll stick with being crazy.

Yes, I love that movie.

The sun is coming up so I must sleep now. I will leave you with two quotes until next time.

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.
~Aristotle

Today I felt pass over me, a breath of wind from the wings of madness.
~Charles Baudelaire

[Edited on Jul 06, 2004 6:15AM]

i play a few different things - i'm in a poppy indie rock band, also starting a new dancey rock band, and by myself i play sappy acoustic emo. i also play keyboards with a jazz basist that sometimes turns into this soundscapey trancey thing that's fun sometimes.... mostly I just make music whenever I can.

Hmm, explain more about why it can get dangerous when you are at the keys. I'm intrigued. I like that quote by FLW.

I would love to be the person in this picture again. Life was so carefree and time had no meaning. Every day was a new adventure. I remember when all my friends couldn't wait to turn 16 or 18 or 21, and I was always hoping to be 4 or 5 again.

It's hard to let go of the past when the present is so empty and the future seems so bleak. When we reach that age where we realize what life is like as an adult, the disappointment can be overwhelmingly depressing. Like a black hole forming in the center of your chest that spreads like a rampant disease.

Sometimes discovery of what is within ourselves makes us realize that the world outside isn't as ugly as we previously may have thought. At least, not compared to what we reveal from the depths of our souls. Once you are ready to let them out, you will be strengthened by the very things that you were most frightened by.

I don't know about you, but I daydream/fantasize constantly. It's so hard for me to concentrate sometimes because I am trying to escape my dull reality into the amazing world that my mind is capable of fooling me into believing is real. My existence there is so different from the one I live on earth. Sometimes I feel as if there are two separate beings living inside this one body. When one of them can't accept the truth, the other one takes over.

Whoa, sorry if I said too much there. I guess talking to you brings out the stuff that I usually bury. If my words ever get to be too much, just say so, and I will be a little less open.

Sometimes, for me, words don't exist that truly express what I'm feeling. I want you to see this fractal - it really tells so much more about me than I could ever say. Maximize it to fill your screen. Then stare at it for a while, and tell me how it makes you feel.

Blue Dive

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
~Edgar Allan Poe

Wow...just wow.

Thank you for that beautiful creation. And, for the record, you are important.

Damn, I hope I'm not included in the "topless hoes" category. That is about as far from the truth as it gets.

Too late. You already offended this random stranger who is, incidentally, also a human being.

No, it wasn't you, I was talking to the person that left a comment in your journal. I think she edited it before you had a chance to read it. Your "friend" delusion decided to insult you (and those of us on your friends list) by saying something like, "you are quoting a poet that you've never read anything by, and only ever heard of from what she read aloud to you." And, "you are doing it to impress the topless hoes on your friends list." That was rude, eh?

Don't worry about me. I'm a grown woman, and I can handle it.