Sometimes alcoholism becomes a disease. I don't think people choose to become alcoholics any more than they choose to get alzheimer's. Some people become alcoholics drinking in the same way as other people who never end up with a problem. For example, some college students clean up their act and stop drinking after college, and others slide into alcoholism.

I hope you find help for your depression.

depression sucks it really does I try to get my mind off of things I
bake yummt food
take walks
do school work
read
write letters