I think it's high time to update past that drunken upset rambling.
Note to self: when you drink enough rum to knock a solider on his ass......stay off the laptop. And the cell phone.
I LOVED the 'auction' offers. Of course, due to it being 1) online 2) drunkeness and 3) obviously not real.....I won't be taking any offers. Although, Alaska sounds SO nice right about now. If I were to seriously auction myself off, it would go to someone who has given me help, love, compassion, and cigarettes. Reekie. =] But that's not my current situation.
Last night I realized that I'm struggling to keep up appearances on this blog. I know that because of the nature of the site, I can only post so much, and for the most part I give everyone in my life a nickname when I write about them, but seriously? A big reason for being on the site is loving, and accepting, who you are. I don't feel I've been doing that. Not entirely, anyways. I have to hide and code alot of what I want to say. I'm so worried about stepping on the toes of a select few. I'm still pushing myself to get over it.
Btw, Cougar's a bitch. Just sayin'. And Goose's laugh is the BEST laugh you will ever have the pleasure of hearing.
I'm still very fucking upset about my medical term grade getting fucked up. If that wench of a teacher doesn't give me the proper grade or let me re-take the quiz I'm going straight to the dean! Fuck.
I've been in an upbeat mood since the last post. I think I just needed to snap and get it all out. I gave out the apologies I felt were due. I'm cheery now. I look forward to things again, instead of worrying. Well, I still worry. I'm still an anxious little fuck. But I'm slowly trying to relax. It'll be a while before I'm acting like an average adult, but I'm trying. I made bowtie with pesto last night. Yum. And had Ben & Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake for dessert. But hardly any. I've been eating so much lately it's disgusting. Being broke has cut down my eating out and fast food consumption though. I have NO spending money. I was suposed to have some money from my financial aid, but they won't give it to us until the 6th. And I'm suposed to be in Killeen in two weeks. Blech. Good thing my favoritest guy in the whole widey world is there for me.
Reekie and I are looking for Alaskan roommates for next year. =] Research isn't helping me though. It's not easy to look at ALASKAN apartments online. They don't carry alot of info and I can't afford to visit to go look. But I can't wait to move.
Also, people REALLY upset me. Several people recently have done some unacceptable things that were out of line and uncalled for. I'm not letting it get to me, but if they continue to be as shitty as they have been.....they won't be in my life. I don't need that. And if it happens again, I'm not going to censor what I say or where I say it. No one is above me, or below me. Don't act like it.
But I'm ignoring it and keeping my cheery mood around. The house needs cleaned and I can't focus on homework.
XOXO
Bukowskii
Note to self: when you drink enough rum to knock a solider on his ass......stay off the laptop. And the cell phone.
I LOVED the 'auction' offers. Of course, due to it being 1) online 2) drunkeness and 3) obviously not real.....I won't be taking any offers. Although, Alaska sounds SO nice right about now. If I were to seriously auction myself off, it would go to someone who has given me help, love, compassion, and cigarettes. Reekie. =] But that's not my current situation.
Last night I realized that I'm struggling to keep up appearances on this blog. I know that because of the nature of the site, I can only post so much, and for the most part I give everyone in my life a nickname when I write about them, but seriously? A big reason for being on the site is loving, and accepting, who you are. I don't feel I've been doing that. Not entirely, anyways. I have to hide and code alot of what I want to say. I'm so worried about stepping on the toes of a select few. I'm still pushing myself to get over it.
Btw, Cougar's a bitch. Just sayin'. And Goose's laugh is the BEST laugh you will ever have the pleasure of hearing.
I'm still very fucking upset about my medical term grade getting fucked up. If that wench of a teacher doesn't give me the proper grade or let me re-take the quiz I'm going straight to the dean! Fuck.
I've been in an upbeat mood since the last post. I think I just needed to snap and get it all out. I gave out the apologies I felt were due. I'm cheery now. I look forward to things again, instead of worrying. Well, I still worry. I'm still an anxious little fuck. But I'm slowly trying to relax. It'll be a while before I'm acting like an average adult, but I'm trying. I made bowtie with pesto last night. Yum. And had Ben & Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake for dessert. But hardly any. I've been eating so much lately it's disgusting. Being broke has cut down my eating out and fast food consumption though. I have NO spending money. I was suposed to have some money from my financial aid, but they won't give it to us until the 6th. And I'm suposed to be in Killeen in two weeks. Blech. Good thing my favoritest guy in the whole widey world is there for me.
Reekie and I are looking for Alaskan roommates for next year. =] Research isn't helping me though. It's not easy to look at ALASKAN apartments online. They don't carry alot of info and I can't afford to visit to go look. But I can't wait to move.
Also, people REALLY upset me. Several people recently have done some unacceptable things that were out of line and uncalled for. I'm not letting it get to me, but if they continue to be as shitty as they have been.....they won't be in my life. I don't need that. And if it happens again, I'm not going to censor what I say or where I say it. No one is above me, or below me. Don't act like it.
But I'm ignoring it and keeping my cheery mood around. The house needs cleaned and I can't focus on homework.
XOXO
Bukowskii
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
f1ssure:
You could have AT LEAST told me what kind of vehicle I should have thrown into the pot. A boy needs to know these things
boogieman0330:
Sweet pumpkin!