alphamale

For your own protection I ask that you do not try and paint any mental pictures of what you read below...



I just got out of the shower and I'm primping myself. It really doesn't make any sense, I live alone, there's no one here to see the results of my superior shaving capabilities. No one to care that I smell nice and clean. I'm fresh and new and nobody gives two shits.

Sometimes I imagine that I'm some kind of super spy, the James Bond kind, with a little Austin Powers to round out the rough spots. I can picture a the bond girl on the otherside of the door. She's pouring us both a couple of drinks when I come strutting out in my towel. It's painfully sobering when, not only is there no drink waiting for me when I come out but the sultry blonde I was picturing in my head looks remarkably similar to the female newscaster on the TV. A newscaster; this is what passes for sexy in my book these days. Oh these are some sad, sad days.