May I make a suggestion? Forget about Kaplan. Go tutor on your own. Put your name in at high schools and whatever colleges are around. I put my name in at just three high schools and had 20 students within a month. I don't tutor much anymore -- it's too exhausting -- but my point is that if you put yourself out there as a private tutor, you'll probably be surprised at how many responses you get.
It's too bad you're not in the area anymore -- I could probably send about a dozen students your way, like right now.
I told my X that I loved her much but was not in love with her. Love for me comes in surges, like when your laying in bed in the morning and you look over and get all misty and want to squeeze her until she becomes part of you. When she yelled at me or when she pushed me away despite my attempts to be close I felt pain and sorrow. I still wanted to spend all my time with her.
The only Love (capital L) exists in storybooks or in the unrequoited form. You can only come close to love, like 1/X -> 0 as X -> infinity
Or like how we keep wishing it will be better in the morning, but never is...
Love is insanity.It is madness. It is a loss of all control. It is what happens when you let down all your mental barriers and face the world defensesless.(and getting hurt kinda fells like getting kick in the balls repeatedly) I know love exists, and I long to be in love but at the same time. I don't thing I can fall in love with anything but my soulmate or the .000005% of the population which may be a near match. I think I'm in love with the though of being In love and that's the truest form on Madness. Sex is just so much simpler.
now that I've met you
would you object to
never seeing each other again?
'cause I can't afford to
climb aboard you
no one's got that much ego to spend
so don't work your stuff
because I've got troubles enough
no, don't pick on me
when one act of kindness could be
deathly
'cause I'm just a problem
for you to solve and
watch dissolve in the heat of your charm
but what will you do when
you've run it through and
you can't get me back on the farm?
so don't work your stuff
because I've got troubles enough
no, don't pick on me
when one act of kindness could be
deathly
you're on your honor
'cause I'm a gonner
and you haven't even begun
so do me a favor
if I should waver
be my savior and get us the gun
so don't work your stuff
because I've got troubles enough
no, don't pick on me
when one act of kindness could be
deathly...
Love is sort of a long game, and what it *is* changes over time. It starts as a sort of breathless, heartless, terrible rush that throws you to shit. With time, it becomes more like...negotiation. Compromise. A conversation between two people, between two states of almost happiness. One of the truest things anyone said to me was "Love is a decision you make when it's no longer an emotion that you feel." And I've found that, eventually, it's a decision that becomes an emotion.
I doubt you wrote this entry hoping to get a long list of people telling you what love is, so I apologize if what I am about to say sounds as such. I think you have a very good insight about people confusing things with love. A strong emotion overcomes them, compels them, and drives them to act and with either a great hope to fall in love or a lack of a better way to label the emotion, people seem to believe they are in love.
Because it is such a difficult thing to define, some people believe that love might not even exist. They try to philosophize it away or call it OCD or just a series of chemical reactions or just the leftover instinctual drive to reproduce, and it may be all of those things, but it might also be something more... I can't even make that half-hearted statement with full conviction; It must be something more.
I think the reason that people seem to be so willing to sacrifice so much for love is because it is the crux of a meaningful life for them, and really, what else matters in the face of the meaning of life?
You continue to be one of the most intriguing manifestations of existence I have ever witnessed. I hope you find peace, or chaos if you prefer.
I am in a similar situation right now with the whole "love" thing, one day I think I am so in love with my girlfriend, the next I can't stand to be around her because when I look at who I am now and who I was 3 years ago before we got together I don't like what I see. The fact that I question my love for her is really almost enough to make me realize it's prolly dead.
You're shot in the heart, and you're dead in a beat.
That is how lovers in Cupid's world meet.
I tend to fall right through love like, "I think I'm falling in--Whoa Shit!" Love has all the substance of a cloud, yo.
It's just this dumb idea from the dark ages. "The church says I'm lustful? Ha, no...it's just Love!" I think my buddy Jim had it right: "Hello, I love you. Can I jump in your game?" Love = pick-up line.
Speaking of sitting around and hating people, there's a fun thread in the liberal politics group that's worth checking out...
i think you are one of the most amazing woman i have ever had the pleasure of comming across
you are interesting and intelligent and very very funny
ok
thats all
Years ago, I thought I was in love with someone. When it ended badly (after countless highs and plunging lows), an older, married friend of mine told me that what I'd had was not love, but passion. "Love is more tender," she said, "patient and enduring." Not that she thought Love is tame, just that Passion alone falls short as a substitute.
I'm trying to assess my own current situation. I'm not sure where you are right now on the spectrum of high to low, but I hope you're doing OK.
I think my buddy Jim had it right: "Hello, I love you. Can I jump in your game?" Love = pick-up line.
