It pains me to say it but I hate her SO much.
Everythings changed... I used to be understanding towards what happened, hell I would have still given my life for you, (that may sound a little rash, but thats how I felt) but over the last week all thats just fizzled off into pure fuckin' hatred. In general, this whole fuckin' months been a right off.
What did I do to be treated like this? Im not delusional, im not angel, but I like to think im a decent person and look after people.
maybe im wrong. But I must have done something!? Noone does that to someone whos not guilty of something!? But I tried so goddamn hard and in return I get it all spat back in my face. I dont understand Why is it that at every turn theres always someone there to fuck me over? I must have really ballsed up in a previous life.
I dont really see the point anymore. In trusting or being close to someone that is. I know that sounds angsty and kinda immature but I really cant. Mainly cause Ive found noone to trust. Ok, thats not 100% true. Ive found people who I thought I could trust... but through one turn of events or another, theyre not around anymore.
It took me a long, long time to get the confidence back to trust someone in the way I did with you. It was such a big move and I was scared shitless. You knew this... So why? So why so sickeningly cold and mean?...
Why?
In other news:
* The house im living has been sold. So Ill proberly loose my job because I need to find somewhere to live and cash to buy a car.
* Frank quit the band. It all came to a head when we went down to London last week to film the video for "How Much Can A Man Take". The shoot had been on and off then rearranged at the last minute and Frank had to work and couldnt make it. So the powers that be desided to go ahead with the filming anyway. This pissed me off and obviously he went apeshit. So he quit, and now he's being told he'll be sued if he doesnt do the tour.
...So SPV have just pissed 10,000 down the drain... They dont know that yet... They'll be pissed
* I bought another Melt Banana shirt off Ebay today.
* Ive been told Ive got a blood clot in my head. My gran's really ill at the moment so im not telling my family, yet. Theyre putting me on Heparin or something. Im not sure as I wasnt really listening. Everythings kinda getting on top of me so occasionally I just tune out and stare blankly at the floor or wall. Apparently along with the depression, this is another symptom from the clot.
Theres other stuff but I wont bore you... y'all take care.
Everythings changed... I used to be understanding towards what happened, hell I would have still given my life for you, (that may sound a little rash, but thats how I felt) but over the last week all thats just fizzled off into pure fuckin' hatred. In general, this whole fuckin' months been a right off.
What did I do to be treated like this? Im not delusional, im not angel, but I like to think im a decent person and look after people.
maybe im wrong. But I must have done something!? Noone does that to someone whos not guilty of something!? But I tried so goddamn hard and in return I get it all spat back in my face. I dont understand Why is it that at every turn theres always someone there to fuck me over? I must have really ballsed up in a previous life.
I dont really see the point anymore. In trusting or being close to someone that is. I know that sounds angsty and kinda immature but I really cant. Mainly cause Ive found noone to trust. Ok, thats not 100% true. Ive found people who I thought I could trust... but through one turn of events or another, theyre not around anymore.
It took me a long, long time to get the confidence back to trust someone in the way I did with you. It was such a big move and I was scared shitless. You knew this... So why? So why so sickeningly cold and mean?...
Why?
In other news:
* The house im living has been sold. So Ill proberly loose my job because I need to find somewhere to live and cash to buy a car.
* Frank quit the band. It all came to a head when we went down to London last week to film the video for "How Much Can A Man Take". The shoot had been on and off then rearranged at the last minute and Frank had to work and couldnt make it. So the powers that be desided to go ahead with the filming anyway. This pissed me off and obviously he went apeshit. So he quit, and now he's being told he'll be sued if he doesnt do the tour.
...So SPV have just pissed 10,000 down the drain... They dont know that yet... They'll be pissed
* I bought another Melt Banana shirt off Ebay today.
* Ive been told Ive got a blood clot in my head. My gran's really ill at the moment so im not telling my family, yet. Theyre putting me on Heparin or something. Im not sure as I wasnt really listening. Everythings kinda getting on top of me so occasionally I just tune out and stare blankly at the floor or wall. Apparently along with the depression, this is another symptom from the clot.
Theres other stuff but I wont bore you... y'all take care.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
Hey bud it was cool meeting you last night, i went onto Eddies after saying goodbye to the SG people it was so much better shame we couldn't get everyone else to go.