_indica

There are these parts of me that i blatantly do no not deny. In fact I probably draw more attention to them then I should, simply because I know Im battling them.

I have such a hard time with intrinsic dilemmas, Im a psych major and honestly I think it has
only drove my over analyzation to an extreme level. Its just so frustrating to see
everyone's problem like a blueprint of their life and then to try to examine yours and
see blue smudges covered by an exceedingly large amount of extra lines and scribbles, notes
to self in the notations and arrows connecting issues that stem from past and roots and integration
of my entire upbringing.

Its just overwhelming, and its something I have been battling since my depression,
Just this feeling that you think on things too much, how do you even begin to deal with that.
My whole being has been brought up to know what others feel, to see things from their perspective,
and to help them, but what do I do when that person is me?

It makes me feel even more selfish and unemphatic for the world around me, by writing this
and constantly writing about myself.

So many things I want the world to know about myself, so many things I want to do better,
and to convey better...but I cant do anything but write and speak and be as I am.
Even when it is not enough for myself. Its who I am in this moment.