It is said that a magician is his own worst enemy, and a victory over one's self is the greatest victory. I'm finding this maxim to be more and more true. After realizing that my habit of playing a certain game is devouring most of my spare time and life energy, with little to no reward for the price I pay, I have decided to quit the activity.
Yet as I come in from my walk this morning, the urge to go back to the old habitual ways is staggering, to the point where I almost convinced myself that playing the game more is what I want (what I really want deep down) so I should do it because to deny that want would be unnatural. Then I remember how I end up feeling after hours and hours of the inane activity, and I keep that first-hand experience ever in mind as my conscious focus to resist the inertia of habit.
Today I intend to embark on building up a different kind of momentum, the momentum of cranking the wheel of creativity up in order to get it used to spinning and hopefully to refine its spinning into a more perfect state. Yesterday I resolved to clean and create, and today I have to make good on that resolve or else what good is the power of my will to bring things into existence? If I cannot state a purpose of something so simple as to clean my space and write a story and then follow through, then I must admit that I am not cut out for the Great Work of magic, because nearly every single ritual begins in just that same method.
Yet as I come in from my walk this morning, the urge to go back to the old habitual ways is staggering, to the point where I almost convinced myself that playing the game more is what I want (what I really want deep down) so I should do it because to deny that want would be unnatural. Then I remember how I end up feeling after hours and hours of the inane activity, and I keep that first-hand experience ever in mind as my conscious focus to resist the inertia of habit.
Today I intend to embark on building up a different kind of momentum, the momentum of cranking the wheel of creativity up in order to get it used to spinning and hopefully to refine its spinning into a more perfect state. Yesterday I resolved to clean and create, and today I have to make good on that resolve or else what good is the power of my will to bring things into existence? If I cannot state a purpose of something so simple as to clean my space and write a story and then follow through, then I must admit that I am not cut out for the Great Work of magic, because nearly every single ritual begins in just that same method.
Good luck with everything!
Without knowing what this game is, I can't comment on where you're at with this. Is it something that only wastes your time, or is it something like online poker or another form of gambling that can lead to a destructive situation?
On the other hand, it's probably none of my business.