Tell me when to stop, she said.

Stop, I said.

She didn’t want to explain it but simply said bullshit.

The other didn’t know how to explain it to me but tried anyway.


“The King of Wands looks forward to challenges because he enjoys the natural rush of adrenalin associated with solving a difficult problem and coming to a solution that will benefit...
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I was asked what my most.. um.. oh yeah.. what’s my ‘worst’ fear.

What the hell is fear?

That I’m not afraid of anything I can name readily is due to my childhood and adulthood so far. Whatever fears I had as a child, based on bad programming from outside sources was deprogrammed during those years I had to just survive alone and...
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Am I a miserable person. I have led a miserable life. I do very little to change. Sad part is that an little that I do manage does engender big changes. Not enough people in my life to notice because they change with the seasons too. In fact there are very few people that know me or have for any long sustained amount of time...
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I don’t have a wedding ring. I’m not married. I was however given a ring as a child and a necklace to wear by my mother.


I was told to keep them safe. For me that meant never take them off. As a young child I took them off now and then regardless because they weren’t comfortable. I’d lost the necklace...
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What sucks the most about being so heart broken I'm thinking about self harming isn't the people at work commenting but doing nothing.. Or thinking I need to call for professional help.. Or getting a raise today and just not giving a fuck while trying to explain that the pain is real and overwhelming to my boss is why I'm forcing a...
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Haven't been feeling bad enough. My grandmother asked me how I want my 6 y/o nephew, that I finally got a chance to meet, to remember me.

I thought it was obvious since I've spoken to them about nothing else since I landed. I'm that weird uncle who will die alone. Could have spared him the shame.

The first few days
How does one dress to go from the subarctic to the tropics? Almost forgot my shoes. Forgot my rubber slippers. See them again in 2 weeks.
Something like 2 hours before I need to get my bus I decide.. Yeah sure I have enough time to get my taxes done. Not sure why but my Landlord got back home so I...
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I think that some people ignore that when someone says they aren’t looking it's because they are looking for something very specific and just don’t expect to ever find it by looking.

There are so many fish in the sea that’s for sure. I checked out eHarmony, Tinder, and OkCupid just now.. and it's still the same thing as back...
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So on Monday, I’m going out of country, wish me luck.

That’s a cheerier outlook than earlier in the week since for most of it I’ve just wanted to die. At last, almost a week later, I’m able to breathe again and it feels like I might be able to move on. Still don’t want to or know how to...
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fml

At times, like now especially, I feel like I have more friends in my imagination because their real life facsimiles end up being jerks or think the same of me or worse. Or my imaginary version just doesn't exist at all in the real world. Right about now I'd give anything to permanently escape into my imagination to be with people I used...
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