There's nothing worse than feeling alone.
Nearly two months ago now I moved to a city about an hour away from Brisbane, the city where I grew up as a teenager, went to school and all that. It wasnt entirely voluntary insomuch as the place I was living decided they weren't going to renew our lease, for no reason. (That's not me trying to make myself sound blameless either mind, on the notice we received saying they weren't going to renew it it specifically said "without cause".)
Anyway despite living up here and going to school up here years ago, high school was never a particularly happy time for me. I moved here with my family before my second year of high school grade 9 and never really made any progress with fitting in. I was always the outsider, it was just so different, I came from small country towns and this was a massive city on the beach, the surfer and slater types, I couldn't comprehend it... I was picked on and bullied and all that. That was where I first really got into punk ans metal. One of my few friends and his older brother were massive punk fans and the whole style and the message really resonated with me. I made enough friends through that scene that I could handle myself and found my feet and had people that had my back when other people started giving me shit.
Anyway that's all just a massive tangent but kinda leads into my point that, even the few friends I did have have all mostly moved down to Brisbane or elsewhere themselves. So now I'm stuck up here with all my friends an hour or more away. I'm still in Brisbane basically every weekend for gigs or football games or whatever else and that's always brilliant fun but, besides that, it's pretty much just me.
My days consist of waking up before sunrise, going to work, getting home after the sun sets and sitting at home on my own, watching TV or online or reading a book before I go to bed to wake up to do it all the next day.
It fucking sucks.
It's also having the unforeseeable, inexplicable consequence of making me miss having a girlfriend. Ice been single for ~2 years now and always loved it. Before that I was in a pretty emotionally abusive relationship for ~2 years again. Since then I've never had any urge to find someone or settle down. I've enjoyed every minute of being able to do what I want, who I want, when I want. Never having to worry about asking permission, fucking guilt trips, none of that shit. But over the last month or so I've found myself really missing that... That closeness I guess, the intimacy... Just having someone there for you...
Anyway, that's my depressing life in 5 minutes.
Nearly two months ago now I moved to a city about an hour away from Brisbane, the city where I grew up as a teenager, went to school and all that. It wasnt entirely voluntary insomuch as the place I was living decided they weren't going to renew our lease, for no reason. (That's not me trying to make myself sound blameless either mind, on the notice we received saying they weren't going to renew it it specifically said "without cause".)
Anyway despite living up here and going to school up here years ago, high school was never a particularly happy time for me. I moved here with my family before my second year of high school grade 9 and never really made any progress with fitting in. I was always the outsider, it was just so different, I came from small country towns and this was a massive city on the beach, the surfer and slater types, I couldn't comprehend it... I was picked on and bullied and all that. That was where I first really got into punk ans metal. One of my few friends and his older brother were massive punk fans and the whole style and the message really resonated with me. I made enough friends through that scene that I could handle myself and found my feet and had people that had my back when other people started giving me shit.
Anyway that's all just a massive tangent but kinda leads into my point that, even the few friends I did have have all mostly moved down to Brisbane or elsewhere themselves. So now I'm stuck up here with all my friends an hour or more away. I'm still in Brisbane basically every weekend for gigs or football games or whatever else and that's always brilliant fun but, besides that, it's pretty much just me.
My days consist of waking up before sunrise, going to work, getting home after the sun sets and sitting at home on my own, watching TV or online or reading a book before I go to bed to wake up to do it all the next day.
It fucking sucks.
It's also having the unforeseeable, inexplicable consequence of making me miss having a girlfriend. Ice been single for ~2 years now and always loved it. Before that I was in a pretty emotionally abusive relationship for ~2 years again. Since then I've never had any urge to find someone or settle down. I've enjoyed every minute of being able to do what I want, who I want, when I want. Never having to worry about asking permission, fucking guilt trips, none of that shit. But over the last month or so I've found myself really missing that... That closeness I guess, the intimacy... Just having someone there for you...
Anyway, that's my depressing life in 5 minutes.