....from a high maintenance queen.

I just want someone who puts as much thought into me as I do them, and shows it in actions and things, not words. I need tangible. It's just how I'm wired. My experiences, my memories all need physical things to keep me connected with them. Words, unless written, are simply that, words. Lost in the air. I...
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noelani:
It shouldn't be so hard right? and, thank you. 
enigmaticpariah:
"Words, unless written, are simply that, words."  That alone shows exactly that you *aren't* materialistic, at least not in the proper sense. Wanting *something* tangible to bridge the sentiment and be able to reflect on is something else we're taught from a young age, and it seems as people go on, especially if it's not their cup of tea, they forget that. I still have trinkets and tchotchke from my youngest years for the same reason - And it's sad it's not a more familiar trait.  Anyways.. Wishes of luck in finding just that, and the kindred who understands. =)

There are no simple words to explain how it is living with an ex (be it spouse, partner, lover or what have you). It's like living with a ghost. An odd sort of purgatory. Life, the mundane parts of life, just keep on going. Defiantly laughing in your face that nothing is, nor ever will be, the same. You wake up, you eat, you...
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eyes52:
Wow that sounds like pure mental torture. I know I couldn't do it 

On the bright side to everything falling apart means one (me) is in the unique position of being able to rebuild precisely how I want. Fitting as I'm currently in the process of renovating a house, and I just sold my car and am spec-ing out a new one, I feel like I'm literally and figuratively spec-ing out my whole life. I just...
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madmaxthehatter:
Well I'm glad your rebuilding but I understand it can be frustrating. And I never enjoy buying a car.... Great shot as well.

Why do you always tend to be terrible? Don't get me wrong, it doesn't have a thing to do with Valentine's Day, but for whatever reason, Feb. has historically been a month I could well do without. It's too bad, I actually like the sentiment of Valentine's Day. More importantly , Lupercalia, the pagan Feb. holiday. Less about "love" and more...
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hectorian:
Wow, this sounds like the story of my life....we need to be friends :)

There are times when I wish I believed in a god, higher power, or what have you. So I can just give up and put it all in someone else's lap. So that giving up didn't feel like I'm giving up on myself and the things that I so intensely believed in. So that I didn't harbor self hate because I...
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ferkixlll:
To quote Michael Valentine Smith: "Thou Art God". To believe in ones self is harder than believing in any other deity.  
hectorian:
Does this god get to choose what types of cookies and pies? Life would be so easy this way. Will you be my goddess?

So hard to swallow but I do it in hopes that things get better. I'm so tired though. Beat down and wonder when I'll find the right Rx to make this all stop.

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71.

71 Pages of blog entries over the last 10+ years of being here. While it may not be as many as some, it's quite a lot for me. It's amazing, and slightly terrifying, to have that out in the world for me (or anyone else) to access whenever I want. I've always been the type to cling to things though. Old...
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I watched an Anise Swallowtail butterfly die today and it broke my heart more than it should've.
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moparhyde:
Oops posted twicewink
vivianevog:
awwww... hugs xxx
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For those that knew him, and all of his awesomeness, PainAngel has left this world.

His warmth, laughter, and hugs will be missed.

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letigre:
Sorry for your loss. RIP.
datsun:
Oh, no. I didn't realize. I really liked him. I'm so sorry for your loss. Everyone's loss, really. frown
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I can't believe I already have to figure out my Halloween costumes for this year.

Damn, time went quick.

Kisses kiss
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chamuko:
tru dat
aeon66:
So what did you end up as? I got dressed up as a Vampire and went to a party that was being hosted by the dance studio where I'm taking dancing lessons. biggrin