One does not know terror until one walks the floor of Comic Con San Diego. There are poor bastards walking around dressed like Wookies, many soldiers from the future and a surprising number of attractive lady nerds in small outfits to drive the male nerds insane.

I was a witness to much female male nerd interaction. In the Suicide Girls booth there was a constant and epic display of no social skills. One gentleman slid up and asked Nixon if he could get a photo, while he stared at the floor. She said yes, and you could tell he was excited because he glanced up for a moment. I told him I would take the picture and he crept up near Nixon. I raised the camera for the shot, while dude kept staring at the ground. He is now the proud owner of a picture of himself, standing next to Nixon, as he hunches over and looks at the ground. Just what every boy wants to masturbate to.

While walking the floor with a friend, we came across two young women, obviously hired by a company to bring attention to their booth. The young women were in skimpy bikini outfits, and holding foam spears. They were obviously slightly dangerous jungle women of some sort. My friend thought it was amusing and asked to take a picture. That’s when the guy in charge of the booth said, “Get in line.” At that point we became aware of a line of a couple hundred sad gentleman, all waiting eagerly to have a picture taken with two women, who are sad actresses working at a Comic Con dressed up like jungle women, because they are not actually the real characters from the game. So, two hundred fellas were waiting in line to get a picture with two women because they were in small outfits. I cried for them.

I also have to report a wizard is asleep right now on the second floor in front of room 5B. I’m not sure how that works. I think wizards sleep for a couple hundred years once they nod off.

And I saw the Batman movie before I came down here. I am saddened to have to report that the Joker has put on a shitload of weight, and in one case was seen arguing with his girlfriend, who is some sort of garden nymph. I didn’t even know he was seeing someone.

Good times at the Con.