i'm going to be having a lot more alone time.
life is changing, and the upcoming choas was starting to overwhelm me.
so...i'm going to use this time to get things in order. i need more order in my life...less clutter.
at the same time, i need to stop trying to get everything done RIGHT NOW!
change is something i can be in control of...especially...
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life is changing, and the upcoming choas was starting to overwhelm me.
so...i'm going to use this time to get things in order. i need more order in my life...less clutter.
at the same time, i need to stop trying to get everything done RIGHT NOW!
change is something i can be in control of...especially...
Read More
my mind is itchy.
i want to pop out of my skin.
i don't know what i need right now to make it better.
distraction?
to stop thinking so much?
i never quite know.
rachel was sick with an ear infection...had a fever of 102, so i had to take her to the hospital.
i think she's feeling better now.
i slept most of the...
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i want to pop out of my skin.
i don't know what i need right now to make it better.
distraction?
to stop thinking so much?
i never quite know.
rachel was sick with an ear infection...had a fever of 102, so i had to take her to the hospital.
i think she's feeling better now.
i slept most of the...
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ok...so two people i know are pissing me off.
and this time it's not my family.
i'm still waiting for my car to get here...i won't be getting to asheville until tonight. kind of sucks...i'd wanted more time. i think i need to stay away from people for a while...but i'm never very good at that. i think i'm too forgiving.
i'm eating ramen out...
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and this time it's not my family.
i'm still waiting for my car to get here...i won't be getting to asheville until tonight. kind of sucks...i'd wanted more time. i think i need to stay away from people for a while...but i'm never very good at that. i think i'm too forgiving.
i'm eating ramen out...
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aproximation:
Did you buy a new car?
I generaly have a low self opinion, but I hope to overcome that, and so I present my bound cock, as you requested.
Be merciful...
I generaly have a low self opinion, but I hope to overcome that, and so I present my bound cock, as you requested.
Be merciful...
it has been a day of much relaxation.
i slept in...i got to the bank just in time.
i got to hang out with my family, and some good friends.
didn't practice violin...shame on me.
my performance will be another non-practiced job.
i have nowhere fun to sleep in asheville, so it looks like i'll be staying at my g-ma's house.
i need to do...
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i slept in...i got to the bank just in time.
i got to hang out with my family, and some good friends.
didn't practice violin...shame on me.
my performance will be another non-practiced job.
i have nowhere fun to sleep in asheville, so it looks like i'll be staying at my g-ma's house.
i need to do...
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dragonborn:
RE:I will be at the Earl to support you ladies!!!
See you there!!!
See you there!!!
wow, life is strange.
i've been thinking about love, and what it means all day...wanted to make a post about it...checked my friend's list, and apparently, everyone is thinking about love today. how freaky.
ever since i've been invloved with winter, i've been more careful about saying "i love you." it used to be that i said the words to test people, or to make...
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i've been thinking about love, and what it means all day...wanted to make a post about it...checked my friend's list, and apparently, everyone is thinking about love today. how freaky.
ever since i've been invloved with winter, i've been more careful about saying "i love you." it used to be that i said the words to test people, or to make...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
onie:
i feel like trying to "understand" love sometimes. Its a romantic idea to be able to break it down in logical terms but as we know.. love is in the heart and has no place in the head nor is it really the love being examine by the time it reaches the head.. so love is in the heart and cannot leave the heart unless its in the "astral heart" of course..
i have the same tendency.. i am all or nothing.. holy shit.. are we clones or something !
we need to hang out more.. seriously... we are a lot alike i think!
your a sweety
X
Onie
i have the same tendency.. i am all or nothing.. holy shit.. are we clones or something
!
we need to hang out more.. seriously... we are a lot alike i think!
your a sweety
X
Onie
libertylux:
it is amazing to me how I can feel love so strongly
yet so quickly
and so differently than i ever have before.
I'm enjoying the ride.
yet so quickly
and so differently than i ever have before.
I'm enjoying the ride.
damn...i'm tired.
this week sucks ass.
i'm ready for it to be over.
i have so much to do i actually had to write down a schedule.
it's all shit that MUST be done if i want my life to run smoothly.
and somewhere in all that, i need to squeeze in time to practice ave maria for daniel's ash scattering on sunday.
so the...
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this week sucks ass.
i'm ready for it to be over.
i have so much to do i actually had to write down a schedule.
it's all shit that MUST be done if i want my life to run smoothly.
and somewhere in all that, i need to squeeze in time to practice ave maria for daniel's ash scattering on sunday.
so the...
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onie:
im so sorry about your friend.. i think the hardest part would be the long wait for the ash scattering buti hope it brings you closure if you havent had it yet.
cars are good to have.
sometimes i feel lonely too.. i hope you find what your looking for and no.. ive looked and its not in the yellow pages.. try google!
cars are good to have.
sometimes i feel lonely too.. i hope you find what your looking for and no.. ive looked and its not in the yellow pages.. try google!
i feel alone tonight.
it's raining outside...and all my non-plans fell through.
i think i'll listen to some music and read a book.
i think i'd rather have stimulating conversation...but i'll make do.
yup, it's been a crazy week, and i think i'm crazy.
it's raining outside...and all my non-plans fell through.
i think i'll listen to some music and read a book.
i think i'd rather have stimulating conversation...but i'll make do.
yup, it's been a crazy week, and i think i'm crazy.
aproximation:
I would say fear is why we hurt ourselves. Bordom just usually leaves us with nothing but to deal (or try unsuccessfuly to avoid) our fears.
I wish I was up to online antics right now but i am but a human shell with a tiny alien in my head-control-center. It is fumbling with the controls apparently.
I feel your pain though. I keep expecting to start hearing voices.
I am going to run out of one of my meds before I can get more from my doctor on friday. That makes me a bit anxious too.
Good luck!
I woke up a couple of times in bed this weekend with my cock tied up and tied to a noose around my neck, so when I moved it tightend the ropes around my cock for a bit. I also had a camera next to the bed for some reason. I proabably intended to send the pictures to her but it wouldnt hurt to share some with you if you want; if it would pick you up?
There not developed yet. I have to finish a roll first but possibly later this week...
I wish I was up to online antics right now but i am but a human shell with a tiny alien in my head-control-center. It is fumbling with the controls apparently.
I feel your pain though. I keep expecting to start hearing voices.
I am going to run out of one of my meds before I can get more from my doctor on friday. That makes me a bit anxious too.
Good luck!
I woke up a couple of times in bed this weekend with my cock tied up and tied to a noose around my neck, so when I moved it tightend the ropes around my cock for a bit. I also had a camera next to the bed for some reason. I proabably intended to send the pictures to her but it wouldnt hurt to share some with you if you want; if it would pick you up?
There not developed yet. I have to finish a roll first but possibly later this week...
another typical day, with small bits of interest.
had a lot of daydreaming going on...also had the urge to fuck everyone that came into the store. does anyone else always wonder what the customers look like naked?
there was a woman who came into the store. she was definately coming down from some horrid drug...i don't know too much about such things, so i'm not...
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had a lot of daydreaming going on...also had the urge to fuck everyone that came into the store. does anyone else always wonder what the customers look like naked?
there was a woman who came into the store. she was definately coming down from some horrid drug...i don't know too much about such things, so i'm not...
Read More
aproximation:
I hope the guy wasnt a pimp.
Sometimes meth addicts start to pick at little hairs or zits compulsively making sores, or they feel like bugs are crawling on them, which could cause them to dig at the skin too.
Its too bad. People come out of the woodwork to join you on the way down, but there are few people who will help you with your own burden till you get some perspective back. I had to buy my perspective, what little I have, and I can already feel that leaving.
I used to look at girls in that came into my shop and picture how the would look as I fucked them. Now I look at bodies and see people. I am infatuated with peoples faces and eyes now. There are some eyes that you can look into and just fall into. Not like falling into love. More like falling into a daydream.
No, my self image is so low I just picture the look of disgust on their face when they see me naked, so I cant really picture them naked. I even suck at fantisies
(Except the one where I fly to see her. I kiss her neck in the terminal. She breaths hotly on myneck as her hair falls all over my face. I slide my hand up her back under her shirt as I walk her back aginst the wall. I wisper "I want to fuck you right here" as I lift her up slightly with the hand that is on her ass. her legs wrap around me and she is wearing a skirt, which is not typical for her. I slide on hand under her skirt and inside her short-shorts. her breath gets heaver and people start to stop behind us and stare. I set her down and start to undo my belt, aware but ignoring the people gathering behind me. She grabs my hand and leads me into the hall, then into the womens bathroom. I see that she does this as two guards are coming over becasue of all the people.
...
you can imagine the rest)
Sometimes meth addicts start to pick at little hairs or zits compulsively making sores, or they feel like bugs are crawling on them, which could cause them to dig at the skin too.
Its too bad. People come out of the woodwork to join you on the way down, but there are few people who will help you with your own burden till you get some perspective back. I had to buy my perspective, what little I have, and I can already feel that leaving.
I used to look at girls in that came into my shop and picture how the would look as I fucked them. Now I look at bodies and see people. I am infatuated with peoples faces and eyes now. There are some eyes that you can look into and just fall into. Not like falling into love. More like falling into a daydream.
No, my self image is so low I just picture the look of disgust on their face when they see me naked, so I cant really picture them naked. I even suck at fantisies
(Except the one where I fly to see her. I kiss her neck in the terminal. She breaths hotly on myneck as her hair falls all over my face. I slide my hand up her back under her shirt as I walk her back aginst the wall. I wisper "I want to fuck you right here" as I lift her up slightly with the hand that is on her ass. her legs wrap around me and she is wearing a skirt, which is not typical for her. I slide on hand under her skirt and inside her short-shorts. her breath gets heaver and people start to stop behind us and stare. I set her down and start to undo my belt, aware but ignoring the people gathering behind me. She grabs my hand and leads me into the hall, then into the womens bathroom. I see that she does this as two guards are coming over becasue of all the people.
...
you can imagine the rest)
had some interesting dreams last night.
what i can remember involves walking toward my scenic cliff, and finding dustin there...though it was odd because he wasn't on the edge looking at the view, but about 20 feet back in folage just standing there. he said he was just leaving, and left.
then i was in the woods at a stream, and a small wolf came...
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what i can remember involves walking toward my scenic cliff, and finding dustin there...though it was odd because he wasn't on the edge looking at the view, but about 20 feet back in folage just standing there. he said he was just leaving, and left.
then i was in the woods at a stream, and a small wolf came...
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i love taking my children to outdoor events. we went to a drum circle around a fire tonight. it's great to see how they react to a tribal environment. of course destiny feels at home, and starts hitting up the people on stage with balance sticks. spends about a half hour engaged in trying to learn. this was a new environment for rachel...she wasn't sure...
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katblue:
That sounds like a lot of fun! I miss going to those kinds of things. Must do more this summer......I need it. Glad yer wee ones liked it. 
ALways a blast for the little guys.
ALways a blast for the little guys.made some observations today...but i forgot what they were. overheard an argument between a male and female of the college sorority type. the guy said to the girl, "stop being such a bitch!" her reply was..."i may be a bitch, but if you keep it up you won't have a ride!"
i've been kind of in a daze all day.
invented a good adage. "don't...
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i've been kind of in a daze all day.
invented a good adage. "don't...
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ok...after the second day since practice, i'm convinced that i hurt something bad at roller derby. this is the most my muscles have ever hurt...even during basic training. it hurts to walk...when i squat at all, it feels like i'm being stabbed. it's the muscle that runs in the front of my leg from my knee to my thigh. no practice for me tonight...i don't...
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kingskottie:
saw roller drby props in PRICK mag... how cool is that!!?
Sometimes change really sucks.