The most gracious arivial of the new year.
The Bat Cave
Do I recount the tawdry excess of the night before, before I purge my memory to free up more room for porn, music and james joyce? But of course.....
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
The smell of smoke, pungent.
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
Is that a mushroom?
(Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
Is that wiskey?
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
And so the clock shifts forward to about 11:45 p.m.
The crowds are everywhere and the best of them are all dressed to kill. The Bars are swarming with unease, booze and anticipation.
The Attic
The Doorman says no one else can get in. That is unless you know the password. Well, 20 dollars later and with the clock ticking I find my chair.
11:50 p.m.
Gulp, snort, Dribble
Victim #1: Black hair, long leggs and a cute dress. Problem: she happens to be a bar tender. Resolution: buy drink.
Gulp, Snort, Dribble.
Victim #2: Black hair, crappy boots and a vicious smile. Problem: she is sober. Resolution: make out with on new Years and promptly get passed on to friend who already has boyfriend.
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
Victim #3: Back hair, white hat, horrific orange pants. Problem: she has friends. Resolution: say snarky comment about pants, ButI still got a kiss on the cheek.
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
Victim #4: Black hair, fake nose, nice heels, Problem: she is a nice jewish girl from manhatten. Resolution: mild attempt at seduction, resulting in a few kisses and phone number.
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
So where is this leading? Well, victim #5: Dark hair, low self esteem, prefect height. Problem: She has a roomate. Resolution: well thats is the funny thing. You may remember that girls sometimes simply fall into my arms. But, the little known detail I may have neglectied to mention is, they are usually simply falling in front of me and I just happen to "accidently" catch them. But, if I happen to be focused on everything but the girl, well, I don't catch them. My friend Paula then proceeds to fall repeatedly and of course just out of arm lenght. Well 12 bruses, a mild concusion late, and only after her boyfriend and 2 other strangers have, all to no avail I might add, tried to keep her from falling, disengage from victim #5 and grab that poor drunk girl and drag her and her boyfriend home.
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
4 hours later I am asleep.
The world is trashed and I am but a passive observer.
Happy fucking New Year
The Bat Cave
Do I recount the tawdry excess of the night before, before I purge my memory to free up more room for porn, music and james joyce? But of course.....
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
The smell of smoke, pungent.
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
Is that a mushroom?
(Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
Is that wiskey?
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
And so the clock shifts forward to about 11:45 p.m.
The crowds are everywhere and the best of them are all dressed to kill. The Bars are swarming with unease, booze and anticipation.
The Attic
The Doorman says no one else can get in. That is unless you know the password. Well, 20 dollars later and with the clock ticking I find my chair.
11:50 p.m.
Gulp, snort, Dribble
Victim #1: Black hair, long leggs and a cute dress. Problem: she happens to be a bar tender. Resolution: buy drink.
Gulp, Snort, Dribble.
Victim #2: Black hair, crappy boots and a vicious smile. Problem: she is sober. Resolution: make out with on new Years and promptly get passed on to friend who already has boyfriend.
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
Victim #3: Back hair, white hat, horrific orange pants. Problem: she has friends. Resolution: say snarky comment about pants, ButI still got a kiss on the cheek.
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
Victim #4: Black hair, fake nose, nice heels, Problem: she is a nice jewish girl from manhatten. Resolution: mild attempt at seduction, resulting in a few kisses and phone number.
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
So where is this leading? Well, victim #5: Dark hair, low self esteem, prefect height. Problem: She has a roomate. Resolution: well thats is the funny thing. You may remember that girls sometimes simply fall into my arms. But, the little known detail I may have neglectied to mention is, they are usually simply falling in front of me and I just happen to "accidently" catch them. But, if I happen to be focused on everything but the girl, well, I don't catch them. My friend Paula then proceeds to fall repeatedly and of course just out of arm lenght. Well 12 bruses, a mild concusion late, and only after her boyfriend and 2 other strangers have, all to no avail I might add, tried to keep her from falling, disengage from victim #5 and grab that poor drunk girl and drag her and her boyfriend home.
Gulp. Snort. Dribble.
4 hours later I am asleep.
The world is trashed and I am but a passive observer.
Happy fucking New Year
well done