Predators
In my mind Predators is the worst movie to feature the odd jawed hunters so far. Yes Aliens Vs Predator 2 was absolute crap, but it was always going to be absolute crap. There's no creative talent behind that movie it's just a series of images designed to entrance the feeble minded. This new sequel though has all the hallmarks of a decent night at the flicks. Great cast, up and coming director, based on a story by Robert Rodriguez and produced by Mr Rodriguez. However its all those reasons that make it the worst Predator film ever, it should be fantastic but sadly is merely passable.
Here's why (Spoilers ahead) -
- It really really wants to be like Predator
Predators rips off so much from the original you could get away with calling it remake. The setup is the same (Predators hunt people in a jungle) the music is the same and the plot follows exactly the same beats (even down to one of the characters running off to fight a Predator single handedly like Billy in Predator). It's like the kid that thinks acting or dressing like a famous person will make them cool. That's never the case though, it just makes them annoying.
- 99% of the script is awful
Aside from Walter Goggins, Topher Grace and Lawrence Fishbourne every character either speaks in exposition or retarded machoisms. It's embarrassing to hear professional actors have to say some of the lines. Remember how the entire script of Predator is both baddass and quotable? Hell even Predator had a few decent quips. The script for Predators is less quotable than a Party Political Broadcast and about as compelling.
- Nothing cool happens
At all. There's not one great action sequence, death, line of dialogue, character or special effect in the whole movie. AVP 2 might have been utter shit but it wasn't half as dull as Predators is.
- The ending
The whole conclusion actually. The audience is asked to believe Adrian Brodie can pilot an alien spacecraft and plot a course to Earth. Then its asked to believe the actor from The Pianist could take down an 8 foot tall homicide enthusiast.
Also the idea of having the film set on a safari planet is a great one, but it throws up the problem of how do you get your characters back home? If your one of the writers of Predator you take the daring step of not getting them home but instead trapping them on the planet. Edgy stuff, hardly satisfying though. You want your main characters to win, to escape, to triumph. Instead they just trudge back into the jungle presumably to be killed by the next bunch of Predators.
- Topher Grace's character
Near the end of the film it's revealed that Topher Grace's character is a murderer and that's why the Predators picked him for their safari. Apparently they needed someone to help them kill all the humans since they are so under equipped for murder themselves.
Another similar point is Walter Goggins character, he's revealed to be a rapist. Gosh what a terrifying opponent for a creature that wanders around with a shoulder cannon and spikes attached to their wrists.
One final thing, the movie only cost $40 million and it shows. The Predators look rubbish, the CGI is shoddy and for an alien planet it sure looks like Earth. It looks cheap, and clearly the budget has impeded the productions scope.
Hopefully Predators won't do any business and we'll be spared a sequel. Roll on Inception,
In my mind Predators is the worst movie to feature the odd jawed hunters so far. Yes Aliens Vs Predator 2 was absolute crap, but it was always going to be absolute crap. There's no creative talent behind that movie it's just a series of images designed to entrance the feeble minded. This new sequel though has all the hallmarks of a decent night at the flicks. Great cast, up and coming director, based on a story by Robert Rodriguez and produced by Mr Rodriguez. However its all those reasons that make it the worst Predator film ever, it should be fantastic but sadly is merely passable.
Here's why (Spoilers ahead) -
- It really really wants to be like Predator
Predators rips off so much from the original you could get away with calling it remake. The setup is the same (Predators hunt people in a jungle) the music is the same and the plot follows exactly the same beats (even down to one of the characters running off to fight a Predator single handedly like Billy in Predator). It's like the kid that thinks acting or dressing like a famous person will make them cool. That's never the case though, it just makes them annoying.
- 99% of the script is awful
Aside from Walter Goggins, Topher Grace and Lawrence Fishbourne every character either speaks in exposition or retarded machoisms. It's embarrassing to hear professional actors have to say some of the lines. Remember how the entire script of Predator is both baddass and quotable? Hell even Predator had a few decent quips. The script for Predators is less quotable than a Party Political Broadcast and about as compelling.
- Nothing cool happens
At all. There's not one great action sequence, death, line of dialogue, character or special effect in the whole movie. AVP 2 might have been utter shit but it wasn't half as dull as Predators is.
- The ending
The whole conclusion actually. The audience is asked to believe Adrian Brodie can pilot an alien spacecraft and plot a course to Earth. Then its asked to believe the actor from The Pianist could take down an 8 foot tall homicide enthusiast.
Also the idea of having the film set on a safari planet is a great one, but it throws up the problem of how do you get your characters back home? If your one of the writers of Predator you take the daring step of not getting them home but instead trapping them on the planet. Edgy stuff, hardly satisfying though. You want your main characters to win, to escape, to triumph. Instead they just trudge back into the jungle presumably to be killed by the next bunch of Predators.
- Topher Grace's character
Near the end of the film it's revealed that Topher Grace's character is a murderer and that's why the Predators picked him for their safari. Apparently they needed someone to help them kill all the humans since they are so under equipped for murder themselves.
Another similar point is Walter Goggins character, he's revealed to be a rapist. Gosh what a terrifying opponent for a creature that wanders around with a shoulder cannon and spikes attached to their wrists.
One final thing, the movie only cost $40 million and it shows. The Predators look rubbish, the CGI is shoddy and for an alien planet it sure looks like Earth. It looks cheap, and clearly the budget has impeded the productions scope.
Hopefully Predators won't do any business and we'll be spared a sequel. Roll on Inception,